


Scared to be lonely

by StylinsonLove28



Category: Harry Styles - Fandom, Louis Tomlinson - Fandom, One Direction (Band), liam payne - Fandom, niall horan - Fandom, zayn malik - Fandom
Genre: Accidents, Anxiety, Bakery, Bed-Wetting, Birthday, Blood, Blood and Injury, Brother-Sister Relationships, Burns, Character Death, Child Neglect, Christmas, College, Concussions, Confidence, Crazy, Crying, Death, Depression, Drugs, Drunkenness, Erections, F/M, First Kiss, Football | Soccer, Friendship, Hand Jobs, Headaches & Migraines, Hell, Hospitals, Kissing, Lies, Loss of Virginity, Love, M/M, Masturbation, Medicine, Mental Breakdown, Murder, Nervousness, Orgasm, Pain, Panic Attacks, Police, Prison, Psychologists & Psychiatrists, Rape, Sad, Schizophrenia, Seizures, Sex, Stabbing, Stuttering, Therapy, Unconsciousness, Virus, Vomiting, Wakes & Funerals, Wet Dream
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-16 06:49:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 37,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29821041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StylinsonLove28/pseuds/StylinsonLove28
Summary: ** WARNING...THIS STORY CONTAINS SOME SCENES OF RAPE AND CHILD ABUSE.***Part two of a trilogy.Part one Don't hurt me DaddyPart three shattered.Harry has been part of the Payne family since he was 8. His parents abused and neglected him, and were put in prison. Harry was adopted by his loving new family.This is the story of Harry's life, his sad past, and his, hopefully, bright future.
Kudos: 2





	Scared to be lonely

February 1st 2004:

"Harry, love..." Lucy said, "you have one more present."

Harry looked up from the table, where they'd just eaten the birthday cake.

"Another one? But...I had all my presents earlier." He said, confused.

Lucy looked at Liam, asking for help.

"Harry...this one is from...your Mum." Liam told him. Harry frowned.

"Mumma?"

"No love, your real Mum. She wanted you to have this, there's a letter too. Do you want to open them?" 

Harry fiddled with his fingers, thinking. He looked up at his parents, then to Louis.

"Y-Yes please." He answered. His hands were shaking as he took the present. "What if it's something nasty?" He asked.

"It won't be. It was checked before it was sent to you." Liam reassured him. Harry nodded.

"Do you want to read the letter first?" Louis asked him, the letter was sitting on the table. Harry reached forward and picked it up.

He opened the envelope and pulled out the paper.

Harry was better at reading now, but still had a bit of trouble with certain words.

"Shall I read it for you love?" Lucy asked. Harry shook his head.

"Can I read it alone please?"

"Of course. We'll leave you alone." She said, placing her hand on his shoulder before leaving the kitchen. The others followed.

"Shout if you need us." Liam added.

Harry held the letter in his hands for a while, biting the nails on his free hand. His heart was pounding. He wasn't entirely sure if he wanted to read it. He was scared.

Nonetheless, he unfolded the paper and flattened it on the table. He took a deep breath, and started to read.....

My dearest Harry,  
It's Mum. I had to write to you. I had to explain myself. I am so sorry for what you went through when you were little. I need you to know, that wasn't me.   
Your Dad was an evil man, as you know, I'm so sorry. He was cruel to me too. He kept me away from you. It wasn't my decision to not see you, it breaks my heart that I couldn't see you or keep you safe. You didn't deserve that.  
It would mean the world to me, if you would visit me in prison. I don't get many visitors, but if I could only have one, it would be you.  
I need to explain. I've sent you a present. Inside it, you'll find out just how much I love you.   
I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me, but I can't blame you if you don't.  
I love you Harry, I always have. If you don't want to see me, I understand, I wouldn't blame you. Take care of yourself, and thank your family for me, for taking good care of you.

Lots of love,  
Mum. X

Harry put the letter back on the table and looked at the present.

He touched the box, the edges of the paper were a bit worn. He took a bit from a corner and started to tear it.

He took his time tearing the paper off. After a while it was all gone, and in front of him was a blue box covered in little butterflies and flowers.

He opened the lid, there was tissue paper on top, which he carefully removed and placed it to the side.

He took another deep breath, and with shaky hands, he started taking things out.

The first thing he found were some tiny blue booties with cute ribbons on. There was a baby grow covered in flowers, it was extremely small. He put it to his nose and sniffed. It smelt old and musky, it still felt soft though.

A light brown bear was the next thing he pulled out. It had a green tie around it's neck, and had big blue eyes. 

Last of all was an envelope. He opened it and found some photographs. He looked through them all, one by one, realising they were of him. 

His Mum had taken photos of him when he was a baby up until around the age of three.

Harry was staring at a photo, when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"You ok love?" It was Lucy.

Harry nodded and looked up at his Mumma.

"You're crying darling. Is everything ok?" She said as she wiped his tears away with a tissue.

"You can look." He said, as he moved the box over, Lucy taking a seat next to him.

"I wasn't expecting this." She said as she looked through the items. "Oh Harry you were a beautiful baby." Even she had tears in her eyes now.

"You...you can read this too...if you want to." Harry said as he held the letter out. Lucy took it and read through.

The was silence while Lucy thought.

"What do you think Harry. Would you like to see her? It's your decision."

Harry was clutching the teddy. "I... I don't know. Can I think about it please?" 

"Of course. Take as long as you need love. Are you ok?"

"Not sure. I thought she hated me!" He cried.

Lucy wrapped her arms around him and held him tight, as his tears fell.

"It's confusing I know." She said calmly, trying to control her own feelings.

After a while, they went to the living room, where the rest of the family were watching a film. 

"You ok Harry?" Liam asked, Louis looked up, seeing his brothers red eyes.

Harry nodded. "I'm tired, going to bed now." He stated as he went around the room, kissing everyone goodnight.

"I'll come up too." Louis said. "I'm tired as well."

*****

The boys were both ready for bed. Louis was sat on Harry's bed, holding his hand, as he was crying again. He had just shown Louis the letter and present.

"It's ok Harry. It seems like she did care about you. She took photos of you and kept these things." 

Harry shrugged. "Can I sleep in your bed tonight?" He asked shyly. They'd not shared a bed for a while.

"Course, come on." Louis said, as he helped Harry over. They climbed into the bed and settled down under the duvet. 

"I love you Lou." Harry said as he got closer.

"Love you too Harry. Night night."

"Don't let the bedbugs bite!" Harry added, making them both smile, before both falling asleep.

*****

Harry woke up the next morning, Louis on one side, his cat, Molly, on the other, and his teddy clutched to his chest.

He stroked Molly, loving how soft her fur is. "Morning Mols. How are you? Aww...you love me stroking you, always purring. Do you like my bear? I have to give him a name, can you think of one?" He was way too cute first thing in the morning.

"Harry..." Louis groaned. "Can you talk to Molly later? It's the middle of the night!"

Harry giggled, looking up at the clock on the wall. "Erm... actually, it's 9 o'clock. That's not night, Lou!" 

Louis threw back his covers. "What? I'm meant to be going out at 10! I'm gonna be late!" He shouted as he ran to the bathroom to take a quick shower.

"What's the rush?" Harry asked Molly, who just purred. 

Harry got up, making sure he didn't disturb his cat, and made his way to the bathroom.

He opened it to find the shower switched on and a naked Louis about to get in it.

"Jesus Harry! Don't you ever knock? Go away!" 

"I need a wee though." He said, jiggling from one foot to the other.

"Use the downstairs loo!" 

"I can't make it...please can I go?" Harry was squirming.

"Oh...just hurry up! Don't flush it!" Louis moaned as he pulled the shower curtain around him.

Harry quickly went to the toilet, relieving himself, feeling much better. He made sure he didn't flush or wash his hands, or the water in the shower would've got so hot it would've made Louis scream. He'd found that out a few times before, much to Louis' annoyance.

He went back to his room, and put his dressing gown on, picking Molly up, and walked downstairs.

Everyone else was already up. Liam was at work.

"Morning Harry!" Lucy said, ruffling the boys hair.

"Morning Mumma!" He smiled, as he put Molly in her cat bed.

"Breakfast?" She asked, Harry nodded and followed her to the kitchen.

He sat at the table, as Lucy placed a bowl, spoon, a box of Krave and some milk down in front of him.

Lucy sat next to him with a cup of coffee and a slice of toast.

"Did you sleep well?" She asked.

Harry nodded, shoveling another spoonful into his mouth.

"Have you thought...about your Mum?"

He put the spoon down, and finished what he was eating.

"What do you think I should do?" He asked quietly.

"It's your decision darling. Do what you think is best."

Harry rested his chin on his hand, elbow on the table, and sighed.

"I... I don't know. I'm scared. What if...if she hurts me?"

"Baby, she can't hurt you. You'd see her in the prison, there'll be guards there, and me, or Dadda." She held his hand, as she could see he was shaking.

"Could...could you see her first? On your own? To make sure she won't hurt me?" A lone tear escaped his left eye, rolling slowly down his cheek.

"I'd need to speak to Dadda first, but I think it sounds like a good idea. Don't cry love." She replied, wiping the tear away.

Harry sniffed and nodded.

"Thank you Mumma." He gave her a small smile and carried on with his breakfast.

*****

"See ya later Mum, lads!" Louis called out as he bounded out of the front door, slamming it behind him.

"Where's he going?" Harry asked, sitting in-between Zayn and Niall on the sofa, watching 'you've been framed'.

Niall shrugged. Zayn looked at Harry. "Think he's seeing someone."

"Someone? Who?" Harry asked again.

Niall laughed at people falling down stairs on the TV.

"Dunno Haz...someone from school maybe?" 

"Oh. When will he be back?" 

"I don't know Harry. I don't know anything. Ok?" Zayn huffed.

"O-ok s-sorry." Harry whispered. He sat there for a few minutes, before getting fed up of the TV. He stood up and went up to his room, closing the door quietly.

He laid on his bed and put the duvet over himself. He had a headache. There was too much going on today. 

He thought Zayn was mad at him for asking too many questions. Louis had gone out with a 'friend'. Then there was everything going on with his Mum. 

It was too much for Harry. His head was pounding. 

He ended up falling asleep.

*****

"Sounds good to me. I was thinking about asking if we could that anyway. I'd like to see this woman before Harry does. I'll see if we can get it arranged." Liam said to Lucy on the phone. She'd called him during his lunch break, as she was worried that Harry was being very quiet today.

*****

"Where's Harry lads?" Lucy asked, coming in with sandwiches and drinks.

"Think he went to his room." Niall replied as he lunged forward, grabbing two sandwiches off the tray.

"OI! Leave some for us, you greedy git!" Zayn said, swatting Nialls' hand away.

Lucy sighed. "I'll go and get him then...shall I?" She turned and started walking up the stairs.

Harry's door was open, and Lucy could see he was in bed. This worried her.

She walked over and sat on the edge of the bed, running her hand through his curls. She felt heat radiating off of his forehead.

"Harry...love...lunch is ready." She whispered.

He didn't wake up, so she repeated herself.

She watched as Harry frowned. 

"You hungry baby? Come get some sandwiches before your brothers eat them all."

Harry just groaned, his hand going up to his forehead, rubbing it.

"Mumma..." He moaned. "Headache." 

"Oh no. Poor boy. I'll get you some medicine." Just as she said that, Harry leant over the bed and threw up on the floor, and Lucy's leg.

"Oh Harry. You're really not well are you?" He laid back on his pillows, clutching his head again, now crying.

"I... I'm sorry Mumma!" He cried.

"No no... it's ok, you can't help it love. I'll be right back.

She went to the bathroom and came back a few seconds later with a bucket, some tablets and a cup of water.

"Try take these pills, make your head better." Harry nodded. He took the pills and struggled a bit to swallow them, his throat was sore.

"Where's Lou?" He asked sadly. He always wanted Louis when he was poorly.

"He's not home yet. I can call him though?" 

Harry nodded. He just wanted cuddles from his favourite brother.

*****

"Louis! Where have you been?" Zayn asked as Louis walked in the door. "Mum was just about to call you!"

"Why? What did I do?" He said, looking slightly concerned.

"You better go to your room, Harry's not well."

"Shit!" Louis cursed as he took the stairs two at a time.

He went into his room, seeing his Mum cleaning up the floor next to Harry's bed.

"Mum? What's wrong with him?" He asked, walking to his brothers bed, and sitting on the edge.

Harry looked pale, except for his red cheeks, he could feel the heat radiating off of him, his forehead was sweaty. He didn't look well at all.

"He's been sick, has a high temp and a headache. Was asking for you. I'm glad you're back!" She explained.

"He's burning!" Louis said, frowning. "Do you think he should see a doctor?"

"He's due some more medicine, let's see if that works first, before we start panicking." Lucy said, picking up the medicine bottle, getting two pills out.

"Harry...love...you need to sit up and take some more pills." 

Harry groaned and covered his eyes. 

"Harry, you need the pills or you won't feel better." Louis added, trying to lift Harry up. He was still very small for his age, but Louis was finding it hard to move him.

"Hurts" he whispered.

"We know, so you need to take them."

"Hot."

Lucy pulled his duvet off, Harry was wearing just his boxers, despite it being February. His body was soaked in sweat.

"Mumma!" He cried, as he started to shake. 

"Is he too cold now?" Louis asked. Lucy looked scared, this wasn't just shivering, he was seizing.

"Shit! Louis help me. He's having a fit!" She cried out as she moved him across to the middle of his bed.

"What do I do?" He asked, worried sick.

"Just make sure he doesn't roll off the bed."

Harry seized for a couple of minutes, then ended. The last time Harry had a seizure, was not long after they took him in when he was 8, and had a high temp then too.

"Louis, can you watch him a sec?" Lucy asked, Louis nodded, and she went to the bathroom. She came back a minute later with a bowl of cool water, a flannel and a towel, she also had the thermometer.

"I need to try to cool him down." She explained to Louis. Can you take his temp please, under his tongue, if you can?" 

Louis took the thermometer and managed to squeeze it in under Harry's tongue.

Lucy soaked the flannel, wringing it slightly, then placed it on Harry's forehead.

There was a beep and Louis read the numbers on the thermometer. "102.1!" He said, his cheeks were wet with tears he didn't know had fallen.

"God. We need to get it down." She continued to wipe Harry's tiny body with the flannel. Louis had got a fan from a cupboard and turned it on high.

Harry started to wake up, shivering.

"Darling. It's ok. You're poorly, and very hot, so we're trying to make you cooler ok?" Lucy said, trying to sound calm.

Harry nodded. He was quite floppy and not quite with it.

He did feel cooler to the touch, so Lucy took his temp again. "99.8" that's better!" She sighed. 

His bedsheets were soaked with sweat so Lucy picked him up and took him to her room, placing him carefully on her bed.

"Lou, can you sit here while I change his bed please?" She asked.

"Yeah course Mum." He replied as he held his brothers hand. He was awake, but you wouldn't think so.

Lucy went and changed Harry's bed, putting fresh sheets on. Then took the dirty ones, putting them straight in the washing machine.

"Is Harry alright Mum?" Zayn asked from the sofa.

"He had a seizure. He was very hot, but we've cooled him down."

"Shit Mum, you should've called us." 

"Language Zayn! It's fine, we coped. You can go up and see him if you want, though he's a bit out of it." She said as she walked back upstairs.

"How is he?" She asked as she sat on her bed.

"Ok, I think. He's not said anything, just moaned a bit." Louis informed her.

She felt Harry's forehead, he felt clammy but not burning up now.

"Harry, can you take this medicine now, and drink some water?" She asked as his eyes flickered.

He managed to pull himself up with Louis' help and he swallowed the pills and took a long swig of the water.

That's when he noticed Louis.

He fell back against his brothers chest and wrapped an arm around him. "Lou."

"Louis smiled. "Yes love?"

"Missed you Lou."

Lucy smiled.

"Missed you too. Hurry up and feel better yeah?"

Harry nodded and fell back to sleep.

"I still think he should see a doctor, after having that fit." Louis said.

"You're right love. I'll make an appointment for later. Thanks for your help." She rubbed his arm. "Where did you go anyway?"

"Oh, just seeing some guys from college. Playing a bit of footie, you know?" He replied, hoping he sounded convincing.

*****

"NO! NO! PLEASE STOP IT! GET OFF ME! DON'T HURT ME PLEASE!" Louis was woken up at 2am by Harry screaming from across their bedroom.

"PLEASE... I'M SORRY! PLEASE STOP!" Harry was thrashing his arms, kicking his legs, as Louis rushed to his bedside.

"Harry! Harry! Wake up, it's Louis!" He shook his brother trying desperately to wake him from an obvious nightmare.

"IT HURTS! I'M SO SORRY! OWWWWW! NOOOO!" Louis managed to wake Harry up.

"Harry... it's me! It's ok, you're safe." He wrapped his arms around his brother, but Harry pushed him away.

"DON'T TOUCH ME! YOU'RE GONNA HURT ME. PLEASE GO AWAY!" he was screaming at a shocked Louis, just as his parents ran in.

"What's happening Lou?" Liam asked as Lucy rushed to calm Harry down.

"He started screaming in his sleep. I woke him up and he screamed at me too." Louis tried not to cry, seeing Harry like this had really upset him, especially what he said to him.

"Harry love...look at me... it's Mumma ok? Take some deep breaths."

Harry was struggling to catch his breath though. This was a full blown panic attack.

Liam had left the room, briefly, returning with a paper bag and handed it to Lucy. She opened it and held to Harry's mouth.

"Slow deep breaths love. That's it, nice and slow." She was calming him down. His forehead was drenched in sweat, he was frowning and his eyes were full of terror.

"That's good. Good boy." She rubbed his back as eventually, his breathing returned to normal.

Louis let out the breath he was holding, and wiped a few tears away.

Liam took Louis to their bedroom to calm him down.

"You ok now love? Nightmare?" Lucy asked.

Harry nodded and wiped the sweat from his forehead. "I... I'm sorry. I woke you up." He whispered, his voice shaking and croaky from screaming.

"Don't you worry about us. You want to talk about it?"

"It was...him! He was hurting me. I wish I would stop dreaming about him." He cried. Lucy pulled him closer to her. 

"You poor love. Is this because you're going to see your Mum?" 

Harry nodded.

"You know I will be with you? I won't leave you alone for a second. You don't need to be worried. ok?" 

"Ok." Harry yawned. "Tired."

"Let's get back to sleep. You sure you're ok now?" 

"I hope so." He whispered, getting back into his bed, just as Louis came back in.

"You ok Harry?" Louis asked, concerned.

Harry nodded. "I'm sorry I woke you and shouted at you." 

Louis came over to Harry, bent down and hugged him. "It's fine. I love you." He whispered in his ear. Harry smiled.

"Love you too Lou. Goodnight!" 

*****

Harry was sat at a table in that same white room, with Lucy, waiting. He was nervous as hell. He doesn't even remember what his Mum looked like. 

The door opened slowly and a guard walked in, followed by Anne. Harry didn't look up at first, he was scared to see her. The woman who he thought didn't care about him. He didn't even know if she was still alive. 

He felt sick.

Anne sat down opposite Harry and smiled at Lucy. 

"Hello Harry." She said quietly. Harry's heart was jumping like crazy in his chest.

He looked up, and saw the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen, apart from Lucy of course.

She had brown eyes, long brown hair, was average height and slim. He smiled.

"H..Hello." he replied shyly.

"My goodness...you are a very handsome young man." She told him, making Harry's cheeks turn a dark shade of red.

"I'm so happy you came to see me. I've missed you so much." Harry just shrugged, looking at the table.

"I'm sorry....about everything Harry. You didn't deserve all that." She said looking worried because he wouldn't look at her.

"Harry. Look at me please." She said kindly. Harry sighed and looked up, slowly. Their eyes met.

"Please, believe me. It wasn't me. It was your Dad. You know how nasty he was to you? He was nasty to me too. He stopped me from seeing you. It broke my heart. I'm so sorry." She couldn't hold her tears in any longer. She sobbed into her hands.

Harry looked at Lucy, not knowing what to say or do.

"I....it's alright." He whispered.

Anne looked up at him, wiping tears away.

"He...was horrid!" Harry frowned, thinking about just how evil his Dad was. "He hurt me lots." Harry tried not to cry too, but he was never any good at that. Lucy held his hand under the table.

"I know. I'm so sorry. I wish..." She sighed "...I wish I'd never met him. He wasn't like that when I first met him. I should've left him, but he had a hold on me." She sniffed.

"I wanted to die!" Harry said. Anne and Lucy both gasped and looked at the sad 13 year old.

"Oh god Harry! You're happy now though...right?" Anne asked.

Harry nodded. "I love my new family." Anne looked happy but also sad at that, if that's possible.

"I wish I could've given you a life that you deserved, I'd do anything to turn back time. Of course I'll always be thankful that your new family have looked after you, like I never could." Anne was shaking as she spoke those words. Right now she just wants to build a relationship with her son.

Lucy looked at the clock on the wall. "I'm sorry, but our time is nearly up." She said looking at Anne, who was staring at Harry.

"Yes. I wish you could stay longer." She said quietly.

"Can we come again?" Harry whispered in Lucy's ear. She smiled.

"Can we visit you again Anne? Harry would like to." 

Anne's face lit up, as if she'd won the lottery. "Oh yes please! I'd love that. Please do!" She smiled brightly, her tears all dried up.

"We'll arrange it ok?" Lucy asked, Anne nodded, enthusiastically.

Harry and Lucy stood up, and Harry went to shake Anne's hand, she looked at the guard, who nodded, and pulled Harry into a hug.

She held him for a while, breathing him in, touching his hair, thinking of all the years of hugs she's missed out on.

Harry was smiling, but had tears in his eyes. His emotions all over the place.

"I'll see you soon love ok. Take care of yourself and your family." Anne said in Harry's ear, before letting him go.

Harry nodded and walked back to Lucy, who was standing by the door.

"See you soon Anne." Lucy smiled, then they turned and left the room. 

Harry held Lucy's hand all the way back to their car. They got in, buckled up and Lucy started the engine.

She looked over at Harry, to see him crying silently, his head against the window.

"You ok love?" 

Harry sniffed and nodded. "Can we go home now please?" He whispered.

*****

It is 3:13am, the morning after Harry's accident. He can't sleep because he's in pain, but doesn't want to wake anyone up to ask for medicine.

He grumbles and fidgets, and in the end decides to get up.

He walks very slowly to the bathroom, to the medicine cabinet on the wall.

He sucks in his breath, as another wave of pain sweeps through him. He can't stop the tears falling.

He opens the cabinet, and looks inside, rummaging until he finds the paracetamol. He knows his Mum gave him some earlier, it didn't really do anything to make him feel better though. 

He opened the packet and took out a few pills, then filled a glass with water.

The pain was getting too much to bare now. His stomach was boiling hot. Harry took off his PJ bottoms and pants, and turned on the shower, putting it onto cold.

He took the pills and downed them in a few goes, washed down with the water. He sobbed in-between taking them.

He just wants the pain to go.

It wasn't even a serious burn, but Harry always seems to feel pain more than most people.

Another pain shot through him, as he entered the shower, shivering with how cold the water is.

His stomach felt like it was on fire. He was shaking as he pulled the curtain across and slumped the the bottom of the cubical.

He shivered and cried as the now freezing water cascaded down his body.

*****

Lucy woke up at 3:42 wondering why she could hear water running in the middle of the night, from the bathroom nextdoor to her bedroom.

She got up, and stretched. Giving Liam a smile, he looked so adorable when he's asleep.

She walked into the hall, and could see the bathroom light shining from under the door.

She knocked, but there was no answer. She turned the handle and opened the door, walking in.

She pulled the shower curtain open, and nearly screamed.

Harry was slumped on the cubical floor, freezing water pouring all over him, and he looked unconscious.

"HARRY! OH MY GOD! HELP!!!" she screamed as she pulled Harry out, placing him carefully on the dry floor, she put lots of dry towels over him, as Liam and Louis ran in.

"Oh my god! What's happened?" Liam said, totally shocked.

"Call an ambulance Li, quickly! His pulse is barely there. Hurry!" Lucy was really panicked.

Louis sat next to her and held Harry's hand.

"Why's he wet. What happened Mum?" She cried.

"I found him in the shower, it was freezing." 

Liam got off the phone, and noticed something. "Lucy...you don't think he's...?" He spoke, holding up a packet of paracetamol that he left by the sink.

"Oh god no! Please no! Harry please wake up love!" She was sobbing, tears falling onto Harry's face.

He looked pale, but peaceful.

The ambulance arrived and Harry was taken to hospital. Lucy went with him.

Liam got his parents round quickly, and followed them in the car.

The other boys had somehow slept through it all.

*****

"He's... he's not gonna die is he Nan?" Louis whispered as he cuddled up in between his grandparents.

"Now..now...we don't need you worrying about that Louis love. The doctor's are very good, he'll be fine, I'm sure!" She replied, with doubt in her voice.

Geoff pulled Louis closer, as the boy couldn't stop crying. His little brother had been through so much in his 13 years. It's just not fair.

"Please don't die Harry!" He sniffed.

"What? What did you say? Where's Harry? Where's Mum and Dad? Why are you here?" That was a lot of questions, but perfectly good ones from Zayn. He'd woken up, hearing them talking.

"Let's take you both upstairs and I'll explain." Geoff said, helping Louis up off of the sofa. 

Zayn looked extremely worried, especially as Louis was crying his eyes out.

The all went into Zayn and Niall's room, and sat on both beds.

"Niall love... Niall!" Niall moaned and blinked his eyes. 

"Nan? Why are you here?" He said, sitting up in his bed, seeing everyone, except his Mum, Dad and Harry. "What's going on?"

"Boys... Harry's gone to hospital. We don't really know what's wrong with him yet." Karen explained, trying not to cry for the boy's sake.

Louis had seen the state Harry had been in, but he said no more, not wanting to upset his brothers anymore than they already are.

"Is it to do with his burns?" Niall asked, he had Zayn's arm around him, protecting him.

"I'm not sure darling. Mum and Dad will let us know when they have any news. Why don't you all try and get back to sleep now?" Karen asked.

"Can...can I sleep in here?" Louis asked, not wanting to be alone, and to be there if Zayn and Niall need him.

"Of course love." His Nan agreed.

"We can share my bed and Lou can have Zayn's if that's ok?" Niall suggested, Zayn nodded.

"Fine with us. Come on, in you get " Geoff ushered them all into the beds, kissing them all, Karen doing likewise, and left them, leaving the door cracked open.

"I can't sleep!" Niall groaned an hour later.

Zayn sighed. "Me neither. Can't stop thinking about Harry." 

"I hope he's alright. I couldn't live without him." Louis sniffed from across the room.

They all ended up squashed together in Niall's bed, and at around 5am, they were all asleep.

*****

Two days later, Harry was released from the hospital.

As he walked slowly through the front door of their house, he was ambushed by three boys, who he'd missed so much.

"Boys, mind Harry's stomach!" Lucy reminded them. They all took a step back, noticing the grimace Harry was trying to hide on his face.

"Sorry Harry. So glad you're home." Zayn said, patting him on the back.

"Yeah... I'm glad too." Niall said quietly, still shocked at what happened.

Louis threw his arms around Harry's shoulders, careful not to squash him. "Harry...I was...so scared." He stuttered as he started crying. He desperately tried not to, but he'd had two days of being scared that Harry would be damaged from it.

"I'm ok Lou. Sorry I scared you." He whispered back. Louis let him go and helped him sit on the sofa.

"We're your servants, whatever you want, we'll get. Within reason of course." Zayn said, giggling.

Harry laid down and Niall placed a blanket over his legs.

"Oh..would you rather go to bed? I should've asked." Louis said.

Harry shook his head. "No...no...I don't want to be alone." He said, his head bowed down in shame.

"Hey, it's ok. I never want to be alone when I'm poorly either." Louis smiled. "Can I sit next to you?" 

Harry looked up at his big brother and smiled. "Yes please."

Louis sat next to Harry, and took some of the blanket.

"Hey! That's mine!" Harry said in mock anger.

Louis looked at him. "Harry... I'm so glad you're ok. You are ok, aren't you? I mean...it was an accident?" 

"I'm ok. I really didn't mean to. It hurt so much, I don't even remember taking the pills. I hate myself for scaring everyone." Harry was crying into his hands.

"Harry... don't ever hate yourself. You were ill, it was an accident. We don't hate you, or think you meant it. We all love you, don't you ever forget that!" Louis told him as he wrapped his arm around Harry's shaking shoulders.

They sat there a while, Louis comforting Harry. Louis noticed the shaking had stopped and Harry felt heavier against him.

"He ok?" Liam asked as he walked in with three cups of hot chocolate.

"He's asleep. He had a bit of a cry." Louis whispered.

"He's worn out, poor boy. How you doing Lou?" He set the mugs on the coffee table as Lucy, Niall and Zayn joined them, all sitting on the other sofa.

"I'm sad. I wish Harry was happier. He's so pretty when he laughs. I miss happy Harry." He looked down at Harry, who was snoring quietly, curled up to his side.

"I know. We all miss that. We need to make sure he knows how much we love him." Lucy said looking around at her family.

"That goes for you boys too. We love you just as much. You are all very special to us. We're always gonna be here for you. Be there for each other too, please?" 

The boys all nodded and smiled at each other.

*****

A month later came the day that Harry was to visit Anne at the prison, with Lucy.

"Do I look ok?" He asked Lucy as he stood in front of her bedroom mirror.

"Harry...you are gorgeous. Very smart. Are you looking forward to seeing your Mum again?" She asked as she flicked a bit of cat hair from his shirt.

"I think so. It's been a while...what if...what if she don't want to see me now. What if she's forgotten about me? What if she hates me again?" 

"Harry love, please calm down before you give yourself a panic attack. Calm breathing yes?" She took his sweaty hands and held them tight, as he watched her slow breathing, copying her til he was calm again.

"Good boy. Now listen to me." She started, as she took them to sit on her bed. "Your Mum hasn't forgotten you. She doesn't hate you, and I'm sure she's been counting down the hours til she sees you again. Stop worrying!"

Harry nodded and hugged his Mumma. "S-Sorry" he said into her shoulder.

"It's ok love. I know you overthink too much. Come on, we better get going." They stood up and went downstairs, where the rest of the family were playing Scrabble on the kitchen table.

"We're off now. I'll text you when we're on our way home." Lucy said as she gave everyone a quick kiss.

"Bye love. Bye Harry." Liam waved, the other boys did the same. 

*****

They arrived at the prison a while later. Lucy turned the engine off, Harry made no attempt to move.

"Harry... we're here love." Lucy said as she undid her seatbelt, turning to face him.

He looked pale and was shaking ever so slightly.

"What's wrong?"

Harry looked at her. "I still think....about what he did to me. I don't remember her. But what if she did it too, I just can't remember?" He looked so sad.

"Harry. He was awful to her too. She seems like a nice woman. I'm sure it was just him. Get to know her a bit more?" 

Harry nodded as Lucy wiped a few tears from his cheeks.

"Let's go then!" He said, undoing his seatbelt and opening his door.

They entered the prison. Went through all the usual checks and were shown into a room, like before. There was a guard already in there.

They sat and waited for Anne to arrive....

*****

Harry woke up in the middle of the night, feeling very hot. His head was still aching, so much for sleeping it off.

Louis was fast asleep next to him, he didn't notice him getting in his bed. He loved it when they slept in the same bed, it made him feel safe and wanted.

He was so hot though, so he wriggled out of the covers, crawled down the bed and out the door.

He ended up in the bathroom. He opened the window to let some air in, and took his t shirt off.

He looked at himself in the mirror and frowned. "Urgh" he muttered. "Disgusting!"

He looked at the medicine cabinet on the wall, put his hand on the the handle and pulled. It didn't open, as it had been locked. "Fuck!" He sighed. "Stupid. Fucking. Thing!" He yanked the handle in between each curse.

He gave up, and fell to the cold floor.

He pulled his knees up to his chest and cried. 

*****

Liam's alarm went off at 6am as usual. He turned it off, groaning quietly as he struggled out of bed. He wandered to the bathroom for a shower. He opened the door and saw Harry laying, shivering on the floor.

"Shit! Harry! Harry wake up! What's wrong?" 

Liam picked him up and carried him to his bedroom, banging the door against the wall as he ran in and placed the cold boy carefully on their bed.

Lucy woke up.

"Oh god, what's happened?" She asked, shocked.

"I don't know. I went for a shower, he was on the floor like this, the window was open and he's freezing." He said shakily as he placed Harry under their duvet to try and warm him up.

Harry moaned as he pulled the duvet up the his chin, curling himself up into a ball.

"Harry love?" Lucy said gently. "Baby, are you alright?" 

Harry's eyes flickered and opened fully. They looked dull. Sad.

He looked at Lucy then Liam, they both seemed sad too, he thought.

"Harry? Why were you asleep in the bathroom?" Liam asked.

Harry looked confused. "I.. I wasn't." He answered, confused.

"Love, I found you just now. You were asleep on the floor, the window was open and you were half naked. Did something happen in the night?" Liam asked.

"My head hurt. I wanted a pill, cabinet was locked." He cried, his hands shot up to cover his face.

"Harry...we said to tell us if you needed pills. Why didn't you come and ask?" Lucy rubbed at his shaking shoulder.

"It...was...night...and...you...were... sleeping." He sobbed, finding it hard to get the words out.

"Harry, don't ever worry about waking us up. We won't be mad." Liam replied, his heart heavy.

"Has your headache gone now?"

"No...still...hurts."

Liam ran to the bathroom and came back with a packet of paracetamol and a glass of water.

He pulled two pills from the packet. "Here, take these." He said holding his hand out.

Harry sniffed and looked at them. "I... I... can't." 

"Why not love?" Lucy asked.

"I took...too many...before. I'm scared!"

"But Harry... I'm giving you two pills. No more than that. Two is fine. Believe me." 

"O...okay." he sighed.

Liam helped him sit up and placed one pill in his hand. He just stared at the small white pill for a while, breathing heavily.

"Come on love. You want rid of that headache don't you?" Lucy asked.

He sighed again and took the glass of water from Liam's hand. He put the pill to the back of his tongue and drank some water, he did the same with the second pill. 

When he was done, he laid back in the bed, pulling the duvet up to his eyes and closed them, sniffling a bit.

"I'll stay with him. You better get ready for work love." Lucy said, as she kissed Liam.

"Hope you feel better soon Harry." He said as he went to shower.

Harry was already asleep by the time Lucy got back into bed. It was now 6.30. in half an hour she'd have to get the boys up for school, so she just laid there, watching Harry.

Every now and then he would frown, or whimper, or fidget. She felt sad that he always seemed to be jumpy in his sleep.

"Mum?" She jumped as Louis came in the room. "God...I wondered where he was. I was worried. Is he ok?" He whispered.

Lucy got out of bed and took them both to his room.

"Dad found him at 6, asleep on the bathroom floor. He was freezing."

"But why? I didn't feel him get out of bed, I'm sorry."

"Lou, you don't need to be sorry. He had a headache, wanted a paracetamol but the cabinet was locked, he didn't want to wake us up. I feel just as bad."

"Is he ok now?"

"He took the pills, then went straight to sleep."

"Oh... that's good right?"

"I hope so. He was scared though. Scared to take the pills."

"Why?"

"Because of the overdose I'm guessing. God that poor boy."

"I've got a free day. Can I keep him company?" Louis asked.

"I think he'd like that Lou. Thanks love." 

Louis ended up getting into his parents bed and cuddled up to Harry. Who turned to face his brother and wrapped his arm around him. Louis smiled.

*****

Harry had been admitted to the hospital. He had just been seen by a psychiatrist who had diagnosed severe depression.

Harry was currently asleep, after being sedated after another meltdown. 

He was talking to the psychiatrist about everything that's happened and he couldn't handle it.  
It took both his parents to hold him down until the sedative took effect.

Lucy and Liam were sat next to his bed. This seems to keep happening. 

Sitting. Waiting. Watching. Hoping.

*****

"Ok love. It's fine. We'll look after the boys. Tell Lucy and Harry we love them. Bye." Karen hung up the phonecall from Liam.

"What they say?" Niall asked, biting his nails in worry.

Karen sighed. "Harry's got depression. It's bad. He has to stay in tonight." She told them.

Louis had been very quiet since they went. He was trying to hide the fact that he was crying, by hiding his face in his knees. He could be heard sniffing every minute or so though.

Geoff sat down next to him. "He's getting help Lou. We'll get him back." He comforted as he cuddled up to his Grandson.

Louis nodded, but stayed quiet, afraid that if he spoke, he'd break down too.

Zayn was hugging Niall, who was also crying now. The whole family were so upset.

*****

"Hi love. How are you feeling?" Lucy spoke quietly as Harry woke up, looking confused.

"Hospital?" He whispered.

"Yes. Remember?"

Harry shook his head and put his thumb up to his mouth, he hadn't done that for a long time.

Lucy pulled his hand away and held it. "You're not well Harry. But... we're gonna get you better ok? But we need your help. You have to take medication. Talk to us if you're worried about anything. We want to to see a counselor again too. It will help. What do you think?"

Harry looked tired and scared, but nodded, a single tear escaped from his green eyes.

"Good boy. We're gonna do everything we can to make you feel happy." Liam added.

"Home now?" Harry asked.

"Not yet, you have to stay in tonight, but if you feel better tomorrow, you can go home then, ok?" 

"O...okay!"

"I'm tired."

"Go to sleep sweetheart. We'll be here when you wake up. We love you so much." Lucy said, Liam nodded, and looked sympathetically at him, as he closed his eyes.

*****

The boys were all in bed, grandparents downstairs watching TV.

Louis was sat on his bed, trying to do more college work, but he couldn't concentrate, so he turned his laptop off and put it on his desk. He wandered across the hall to his brothers bedroom.

"Can I come in?" He asked, knocking lightly on the door.

The boys looked up and smiled. "Course Lou, you don't need to ask."

"Thanks. You guys can't sleep?" He asked.

"Can't stop worrying about Harry." Niall said. He was sat on Zayn's bed, looking at a comic.

"Same." Louis said sitting on the bottom of the bed, crossing his legs.

"He has been through a lot. I'm surprised he didn't break sooner, if I'm honest." Zayn said.

"Well... I'm gonna be the best brother from now on. I'll try to keep my mouth shut and not upset him." Niall said, proudly. The other two boys laughed.

"Impossible!" Louis said.

"I will I promise." Niall said, seriously. "We all need to be the best for him!"

Since when did Niall get all grown up and sensible?

*****

The next morning, Harry was woken up by nurses checking him over. He still felt so tired, the sedative he had knocked him for six.

"Can we go home now" he'd asked. 

"The doctor will be in for a chat soon. He'll let you know. How about some breakfast?" She asked him.

"Yes please." He half smiled.

"Ok I'll sort it for you." She said and went off to get him something to eat.

"How are you feeling baby?" Lucy asked him. She looked worn out, she hadn't slept much last night, through worry. Liam had gone home at 10 last night, leaving Lucy to sleep in Harry's room.

"Still tired. Head still hurts. Embarrassed." He whispered, playing with a loose thread on his sheet.

"Don't feel embarrassed love. Don't ever feel like that. We all understand." She held his hand and felt it shaking.

A lady came in with breakfast. She placed it on the table and wheeled it in front of Harry. He thanked her and stared at the bowl of cereal.

"Try an eat something Harry. The doctor will be here soon."

Harry just stirred the cereal around the bowl, suddenly not feeling very hungry.

"I'm sorry....for being such a nuisance." He sniffed and dropped the spoon with a clunk.

"Harry! You're not a nuisance." She rubbed her hand up and down his back. "Please don't cry."

But Harry couldn't help it. Once he started, he found it hard to stop.

He ended up crying himself to sleep, exhaustion and depression taking over his body.

Liam came in half an hour later.

Lucy jumped up and hugged him, a few tears falling. They didn't speak for a while, both tired out. 

Even though Liam had been home, laying in a comfy bed, he hadn't slept at all.

All three boys had come in to him at some stage of the night.

He was so grateful that his boys were so close to each other, but so sad that they were all suffering.

They all needed to pull together to try and get the family happy.

He'd be damned if it didn't happen.

*****

Friday came around quickly.

Harry had been preparing himself all week for meeting Gemma.

Liam dropped the other boys off at school earlier, and was back home.

"You ok Harry?" He asked. Harry was sitting on one of the sofas, one knee bouncing, biting his nails.

"Huh? Oh yeah! I'm ok. Nervous. What if she hates me?" 

"Harry...we told you before, she won't hate you. Think good thoughts ok?" Lucy smiled.

There was a knock at the front door, and Harry's heart pounded in his chest.

He stood up as Lucy opened the door.

"Hello Gemma. It's lovely to meet you. Please, come in." Lucy said.

In walked a young girl with brown eyes and long brown hair. She was the spitting image of Harry, except for the eye colour.

She looked nervous too, as she walked in the room and over to where Harry stood, his hand went up to his mouth as his bit his nails again.

"Hi Harry... I'm Gemma." She said quietly, holding her hand out.

Harry stepped forward, and tentitavely took her hand. It was soft and warm. He smiled.

"H-hello G-Gemma." He whispered.

They both sat on the sofa, unable to look away from each other.

"Would you both like a drink?" Lucy offered.

"Oh, if it's no trouble, a coffee would be lovely, thankyou. White no sugar." Gemma smiled at Lucy.

"Harry?"

"Uh...just water please." He couldn't stop looking at his sister.

Lucy went off to get the drinks.

"So... Harry. God, I'm so nervous. I can't believe I'm here. I've wanted to meet you for so long." 

Harry smiled and nodded his head.

"I'm sorry... I've not been w-well. B-but I'm glad you're here now." He replied. 

"Mum said. Sorry to hear that. You feeling better now?" 

"Yeah, a bit. I'm on... antidepressants." He felt his face flush at admitting that.

"Oh. Do they help?"

"Yes. I do feel much b-better. Have good and bad days, you know!" 

"You know Mum wasn't like Dad?" She said suddenly, changing the subject.

"He abused her too. He's the most disgusting, vile man in the world. He broke her. She wouldn't have ever hurt you." 

Harry looked down at his hands. "She...she seems...nice. didn't you ever see her before...all this happened?"

"No. She wasn't allowed to see me. Her aunt brought me up. She's been amazing. I'm so sorry you didn't get out too. I feel so guilty about that." 

Harry looked up and saw her wiping a tear away.

Lucy came in and put their drinks down, sitting next to Liam who had been sat listening to their conversation.

"Please don't. Don't feel bad. It's not your fault." Harry took her hand, and she smiled.

"I've felt guilty for a while. It was hard knowing I had a little brother that had gone through what you did."

Harry was crying too. 

Gemma moved closer, slightly, and opened her arms for a hug, which he accepted. They sat for a while, hugging, crying.

Liam and Lucy's hands were joined, both of them fighting against their tears.

"Harry...could we meet again? I'd love to see you. Please?" She whispered in his ear.

Harry smiled and nodded, as the ended their hug. "I'd really like that."

They both smiled.

"Do you have a phone? I can give you my number." Harry shook his head. He'd never had a phone.

"I have your number Gemma. He can text or call you on that." Lucy stated.

"Thank you Mrs Payne." She said.

"Please, call me Lucy. You make me sound like an old woman." She laughed.

"Lucy...thank you. I'm sorry, but I need to go now, college stuff to get on with." She sighed. "It was great meeting you Harry. You take care, yeah?" Harry smiled.

"Thanks for coming. See you soon." 

Harry got up and walked Her to the door. They hugged again, as Gemma bid them all goodbye.

*****

That evening, they were all sat eating dinner. Harry seemed a lot brighter than he had lately.

"So, she's coming again?" Louis asked.

Harry nodded. "I hope so. She was really nice, wasn't she?" He asked his parents.

"Yes love. She was lovely. We were thinking Harry. Maybe you'd like your own phone, so you can keep in contact with Gemma?" 

Harry had the biggest smile they had seen in a long, long time.

"Really? My own phone?"

"Yes" Lucy laughed. "You're very own phone. Take it that's a yes then?"

Harry nodded. 

"Well... I'll get you one tomorrow." Liam said.

He was expecting some protests about Harry getting a new phone from the other boys, but they all stayed quiet, smiling at how happy Harry was.

"Today has been really good." He said, happily.

*****

See ya laters!" Louis called out as he raced out the front door.

"Bye Lou!" Lucy called back, just as the door slammed shut.

It was 10am on a rainy Saturday.

Louis had been going out every Saturday for the last month or so, and coming home late from college each night.

He'd told his parents that he'd joined a English literature group.

That wasn't completely true though.

*****

"Where's Lou gone?" Harry asked.

"He's gone to his English group, I told you earlier." Lucy said, as she prepared lunch.

"When's he coming home?"

"I don't know love, he didn't say a time. I doubt it will be late though. Can you get some plates out please." 

Harry got the plates out and put them on the table, he then sat down and huffed.

"What's up love?" Lucy said.

Harry played with the napkin in front of him. "He's always going out. I don't want him to." 

"Oh come on Harry. He doesn't go out that much. He's doing college things, not like he's having lots of fun." Liam joined in the conversation.

Harry looked sad.

"He looks like he's had fun when he gets home though. I want to have fun with him. He does hardly anything with me now."

"Now that's not true! He's always watching films with you, or reading books."

"Wow! I want to do fun things. Louis does fun things. Zayn does fun things. Niall does fun things. Why can't I?"

Harry stood up and stomped off up to his room, the door slamming behind him.

Liam and Lucy looked at each other, stunned from that very rare outburst.

"I'll go check on him. Can you finish lunch love?" Lucy asked Liam, who nodded.

*****

Lucy stood outside Harry's door, she could hear him crying.

She knocked and opened the door. She looked around, but couldn't see him.

The crying came from the wardrobe. Lucy sighed and walked over to it. She knocked on the door.

"Harry....can I open the door love?" She asked calmly. 

The door slowly creaked open and Harry was sat there, legs crossed, tears streaming down his face. 

"Baby... don't cry please. Can you come out so we can talk?"

Harry shook his head and wiped his cheek.

"Can I come in then?"

Harry looked bemused, then nodded, moving over slightly.

Lucy crawled into the wardrobe and put an arm around the sobbing teenager.

"What's this all about hey? It's not like you to lose it like that." 

Harry sniffed. "I... I just wanna be normal." He whispered.

Lucy pulled him to her chest and hugged him.

"I... I wanna go to a football match. Or...or a concert. I want to have f-friends." He sniffed. "I love you all, b-but I want m-more." He was full on sobbing now.

"I know you do. I want you to too. Let me talk to Dad about this. See what he says. Is that ok?" She was so caring. She just wants the best for all their boys.

Harry nodded and hugged his Mum. He was still crying but felt a bit better for getting that off his chest.

They sat in the wardrobe for about half an hour, before Lucy felt uncomfortable.

"Hey...how about we get out of here now? My bum has gone numb!" That made Harry giggle, and he helped her get up and out.

*****

Louis had missed lunch, and dinner. It was now 9pm and he still wasn't home.

He did, however, text his Mum to say he was going to a friend's for dinner and he'd be home around 10.

"It's good to see he's got new friends." Liam said to Lucy as they sat together watching TV. 

Harry was curled up into himself on the sofa, thoroughly miserable. He'd missed his brother. He can't remember the last time they hadn't seen each other for such a long time, probably when Harry was in hospital.

"Harry...you wanna do some drawing with us?" Zayn asked, noticing how sad he looked.

Harry shook his head, and closed his eyes, feeling tired.

"Ok. We'll be in our room if you change your mind." Niall added, they went upstairs.

*****

"Where the hell is he Liam?! It's 11:30! He's not answering his phone. What if he's hurt?" Lucy was pacing the living room, Liam kept calling Louis' phone, which was now going straight to voicemail.

"I'm gonna kill him when he gets home!" Liam said, not meaning it of course!"

Harry had gone up to bed at 9:30, Liam carried up the sleeping boy, as he was out for the count.

Just as well he was asleep, as he was sure to be panicking if he'd been awake.

"Do you think we should call the police? We don't even know who this friend is." Lucy fretted.

Just as Liam was about to dial 999, there was a knock at the door.

They both ran to it and Liam opened it.

"Hi...err sorry to bother you..."

"Oh my god Louis!" Liam shouted. The man at the door was struggling to hold up a clearly drunk Louis. Liam helped the stranger bring him in and sat him on the sofa.

"Sorry...who are you?" Liam asked, as Lucy checked Louis over.

"I'm a friend, Stan. Nice to meet you." He held his hand out to shake, which Liam did.

"He had a bit too much to drink, as you can see. He was at a party. I don't wanna get him into trouble."

"We'll, Stan, thanks for bringing him home." He said as he showed the boy out.

"You're welcome." Stan replied.

"What the hell Louis!" Liam said looking down at his son, who looked the worse for wear.

"There's no way we can get him to bed, he'll have to sleep here. I'll stay down, keep an eye on him." Liam said, as he took the boys shoes off.

"Thanks love, I'll get a bucket, just in case."

"He's gonna have a bad headache tomorrow."

"I hope he does, might make him think twice about doing it again!" Liam sighed.

*****

Liam woke up early. He didn't sleep well, afraid that Louis would throw up on Harry, which he didn't, thank god!

He was sat at the kitchen table having some tea and toast, when a bleary eyed thirteen year old came in, yawning.

"Morning Harry. It's a bit early. Why don't you go up to bed?"

Harry shook his head and walked over to Liam.

"Can I have a hug please?" He whispered. His voice was soft and croaky.

Harry was being extremely clingy lately.

"Of course love." Liam lifted him onto his lap, and they cuddled. "Do you want to talk about last night? The nightmare?" He asked gently.

He felt Harry tense in his arms.

"D-Daddy." He said shakily. He said no more, just cried. Liam held him tighter.

"It's ok now love. You're safe. He can never hurt you ever again. You know that, right?" 

Harry nodded. He didn't know that for sure though. Nobody did.

One day his Daddy would be released from prison and come looking for him, just like uncle Mitch had.

Liam felt Harry shaking in his arms. "We're always here if you need to talk, about anything. Remember that please Harry." 

"I will. I promise." He answered.

Liam was just about to ask Harry if he wanted breakfast, when they heard retching coming from the living room.

Harry jumped down from Liam's lap, and ran to the sofa where Louis was about to throw up everywhere.

He grabbed the bucket and held it under Louis'chin, just in time.

Liam had followed Harry into the living room, and took over holding the bucket.

Louis spewed up for a couple of minutes, barely having time to catch his breath in between heaves.

Harry was sat next to his brother, rubbing his back, and telling him he'd feel better soon. Liam was so proud of his little boy.

Once Louis'stomach was emptied of all the disgusting alcohol he consumed last night, he sat back, rubbing the sweat from his forehead.

"Fuck! I'm never doing that again!" He whispered, his head was pounding and the room was spinning.

"Language Lou!" Liam warned him. "I think we need a little chat later, don't you?" He got up to get Louis some water and tablets for his headache.

"Lay down Lou. You don't look well." Harry said quietly. "I'll look after you."

Louis laid back on the sofa, and groaned.

"Why did you get drunk?" Louis was surprised at Harry's question.

"Just...what you do...at parties." He moaned, trying to find a comfortable position.

"Wish I could go to parties." Harry replied, sadly. 

"Sorry Harry." Louis said before he fell asleep.

"Oh...he should've taken some pills before he went back to sleep." Liam said as he came back in.

"Sorry...he was tired." Harry said.

"It's ok love. So...breakfast?" Liam asked. Harry sighed.

"I think I'll go back to bed actually." 

"Ok love. See you later then." Liam kissed his cheek then turned and walked back to the kitchen. 

Harry took his chance.

He knew he shouldn't.

He felt he had to.

He grabbed what he needed and ran upstairs.

It was only 8am on that Sunday morning, he knew everyone else would still be asleep.

Now was his chance.....

*****

"Harry....why did you take the packet of pills?" Liam asked calmly, though inside he was panicked.

"I... I'm sorry." He whispered.

"Tell us love. We won't be angry."

"I...get sad."

"We know you do. Tell us why, exactly."

"I...I...keep getting bad thoughts. I want to hurt myself." He had tears falling now.

"You haven't though, have you?" Lucy asked, voice shaking, eyes scanning over Harry's skin that was on show.

Harry shook his head. "I want to. I hate myself." He broke down completely.

Lucy tried so hard not to cry, but it was so hard.

"Harry love. You should've talked to us, about how bad you were feeling." Liam said, hugging the tiny boy.

*****

"What's going on up there?" Louis was worried.

"Harry...he took the paracetamol packet, they think he was gonna overdose again." Zayn said, so quietly that Louis and Niall could hardly hear him.

"Shit! This is my fault." Louis said.

"No! You can't say that Lou." Niall said as he put his arm around his guilt ridden brother.

"If I hadn't got drunk, Dad wouldn't have got the pills out. It's my fault!" Louis was distraught.

*****

Harry had cried himself to sleep and was tucked up in his parents bed. Lucy decided to sit with him for a while, Liam headed downstairs.

"Is Harry ok Dad?" Zayn asked once Liam entered the living room.

"Not really. He didn't take anything, but he's really not happy. I think we need to see a doctor again." 

Liam noticed Louis curled up on the sofa, his arm covering his face, his body shaking.

"Lou...you ok?" He asked as he sat beside him.

"He's blaming himself for Harry taking the pills." Zayn informed his Dad.

"Lou, love, he didn't take anything, and it's not your fault. I left them in here. I'm the guilty one." Liam sniffed, as Louis sat up and hugged him.

"He is just a very troubled little boy. He needs help and we're going to do all we can to make him happy. Ok?" The three boys all nodded.

*****

The car arrived at Auntie Alice's house at 11am. 

Gemma welcomed Liam and Harry in, and took them to the living room.

"Where's Auntie?" Harry asked, noticing she wasn't sitting in her usual chair.

"She's in bed. She's more comfortable there. The doctor should be here soon." Gemma said, sadly.

There was another knock at the door and Gemma answered it, she let the doctor in.

He was a middle aged man, bald headed with a tiny beard. Gemma showed him into Auntie Alice's room. Harry and Liam followed them.

"Good morning Alice. How are you today?" The doctor asked, setting his bag down on the bed next to her.

"Tired, doctor, think I've not long left." She spoke quietly. Gemma sniffed, not being able to hold her tears, Harry hugged her.

"Well... let's check you over." He said, opening his bag, getting out his stethoscope, placing it on her chest.

"Your heart is very weak, Alice. Would you be more comfortable in hospital?"

Alice shook her head, even that little movement made her tired.

"No...I want to die at home." She wiped her tears that fell from her kind eyes.

Gemma sobbed and had to leave the room.

Harry went with her. He pulled her back, when she got to the living room and wrapped her in a tight hug. They were both crying.

"She can't die. I love her so much!" Gemma cried.

Liam walked into the room with the doctor.

"Gemma... I'm so sorry, she doesn't have long left. She's asking for you." The doctor said. "I'll see myself out." He patted her shoulder as he walked to the door, and left.

The three of them stood in silence for a moment, before Gemma took a deep breath and went to Alice's room.

Alice held her hand out when Gemma appeared. She took it and sat down beside her. Alice wiped tears from Gemma's cheeks.

"Don't cry Gemma. We all have to die sometime. My time has come." 

"I love you Auntie." She tried to smile, but couldn't.

"I love you too. You're the daughter I never had. You go and enjoy your life. Make the most of every minute."

Gemma bent down and hugged her Auntie, then kissed her cheeks gently. "I will, I promise."

"Harry..." Alice spoke again. "Come here." 

Harry walked to the bed, his heartbeat was racing. 

"You look after your sister for me. She's been so amazing to me. She deserves to be looked after. I'm so glad I got to meet you. You're a lovely young man. I can't tell you what to do, but don't hold a grudge against your Mum. As I said...life is short."

"Ok Auntie. I will try." He could say no more. 

"Can I be alone with Auntie now please?" She asked. Liam and Harry nodded and went to sit in the living room.

"Is...is she going to...die today?" Harry asked Liam, he'd never known anyone who had died before, he was worried.

"I don't know, but it looks possible." Harry looked down at the floor and held in a sob.

Liam got up and sat next to Harry. "It's ok to cry Harry. Don't hold your feelings in, it's not good for you."

That's all Liam had to say before Harry started crying, silently, not wanting to upset his sister more.

Time went slowly that day. Harry was so tired by 3pm that he fell asleep. Liam needed to stretch his legs, so his stood up and walked around. 

He walked to Alice's bedroom door and could hear Gemma crying. He knocked and opened the door, Gemma was hugging Alice, it was obvious to him that Alice had passed away.

"Gemma." He said softly, placing his hand on her shoulder. "Gemma love, she's gone."

Gemma kept sobbing. "She can't." 

"Come with me Gem." 

She sat up straight taking Alice's hand and kissing it.

"Goodbye Auntie. Thank you for everything you've done for me. I'll never forget you and always love you." She bent down and kissed her cheek. 

Liam placed the sheet over her face and the two of them walked to the living room.

Harry was awake when they got there, wondering where Liam was.

"Gemma?" He said, already knowing what had happened.

"Oh Gem!" He got up and hugged her, the pair of them in a cuddle of tears and sobs. 

Liam stood still not sure what to do. He got his phone out and sent a quick text to Lucy.

Alice had left instructions with Gemma and Liam as for what to do when the time came.

Liam went to the kitchen to make arrangements for her body to be moved.

Gemma broke down when they took her away. She ended up on the floor, hugging herself, and crying out loud.

Harry tried to comfort her, but he was getting stressed out, so he ended up joining her on the floor.

"Gemma. We need to go now. Are you ready love?" He asked. They had planned for Gemma to stay with them, she was already packed.

The dragged themselves up off the floor and walked slowly to the car. Liam helped Gemma to walk, she seemed to have lost all her strength.

Back at the Payne's house, Gemma had been welcomed, with more hugs and tears. 

Harry and Gemma we're currently sat in Harry's room, just hugging and crying. 

"That poor girl. She's so upset. This is going to be tough." Lucy said.

"I know, she's got us. We'll give her all the help she needs. She's part of our family now." 

*****

Auntie Alice's will reading was very interesting indeed.

It seems she had quite a lot of money. She left some to Anne to help her out once she was released. She gave a bit to charity. Most of the money, however, was given to Gemma and Harry. The profits from the sale of her house would also go to the siblings.

"I can't take her money." Harry said when he found out. "I probably wouldn't have even met her if it wasn't for what happened to me."

"You don't know that though. She cared for you. She considered you the grandson she never had." Lucy explained. "Think what you could do with that amount of money."

"I... I don't know."

"Well... why don't you put it in your bank account? You might regret not taking it in the future. It could pay for university, buying a house or a car, traveling the world. You can do so much Harry."

Harry thought for a moment.

"Ok. I'll do that then." He agreed, feeling slightly guilty.

"Ok. I'll pay the cheque into the bank tomorrow. Do you want to come with me? We could go shopping after?" 

"Maybe. See how I feel." 

*****

The following day... 

"Are you coming Harry? If you are, we need to go soon." Lucy called. The other boys were at school or college. Gemma had a day off from her college course and was going into town with Lucy and hopefully her brother.

"Be right there." He replied, making the women smile at each other.

Harry walked down the stairs. He was dressed in black skinny jeans, a navy blue shirt and his favourite Chelsea boots.

"You look smart Harry." Gemma complimented him. He smiled.

"Thanks. So do you."

Lucy got her car keys and the took off.

Once in town, they headed straight for the bank. They had an appointment to see an advisor, as the pair were very young. They were given advice on how to look after their money.

The money was paid into their accounts, and they went for lunch.

"I'm paying for this Lucy." Gemma stated. "You've done so much for me and Harry, so choose whatever you want."

Lucy smiled, she tried to argue, but Gemma was adamant.

They ordered, and sat chatting. They got their food which looked and smelled absolutely delicious.

Harry was picking at his though, looking deep in though.

"Harry? Is something wrong? Don't you like your food?" Gemma asked.

He looked up and put his fork down. He sighed.

"It's just...you said about all the things I could do with the money.... But... I never do anything or go anywhere. It's just gonna sit in the bank."

"Harry...you can do things. The doctor's say you're better. Ok, you still have to be careful and not go stupid, but you can try new things. I'll do things with you if no one else can. It'll be fun." Gemma answered. 

Harry looked at her. "Really?"

"Yeah! As long as it's ok with Lucy and Liam."

"It's ok with me. I'm sure Liam will be ok with that too." She smiled.

Harry seemed to cheer up a bit, picked his fork up, and ate his food happily. 

They went from shop to shop. They all tried on clothes and shoes, and bought loads.

Their arms were practically falling off with all the bags they were carrying.

They'd bought things for the rest of the family too. They had had such a wonderful day.

*****

"Oh my god! Thank you so much!" Zayn said as he tried on the clothes he'd been bought.

"Yeah. Thanks. This is amazing!" Niall added.

"AHH I've always wanted these trainers!" Louis joined in.

This had been the best day the family had had for a hell of a long time. Everyone was so happy.

They'd even ordered in a Chinese takeaway as a treat.

Seated around the kitchen table, everyone discussed how their day was.

"I'm on the footy team for Saturday." Niall said happily. "Can you come and watch?" It was his first time being in the first team. He was so excited and nervous.

"That's fantastic love. Course we'll be there." Liam said, patting his shoulder.

"I have to go out after dinner. I won't be late." Louis said, spooning noodles into his mouth.

"Err...where exactly are you going?" 

"To the English lit group." He replied, hating the fact that he was lying, hoping it wasn't showing. He felt like his face was on fire.

"If you come back drunk again..."

"No Dad! It's not a party. I promise I'm never drinking again." 

Zayn laughed.

"It's true! Never again. Not til I'm 20 at least!" 

"Hahahaha that's only a couple of years, Lou, hardly forever!" Niall giggled.

"Well...I might take it better when I'm older." 

"I'm never drinking. It makes people angry " Harry suddenly said, everyone went silent.

"I don't want to hurt people cos I'm drunk."

"Harry love. Not everyone hurts people when they're drunk. Plus, you can drink without getting drunk." Lucy spoke quietly, reaching over to hold Harry's hand. He looked sad, obviously thinking of when his Dad would drink and then beat him.

Nobody really knew what to say. So they sat quietly and finished their meal.

Afterwards, the adults did the washing up. Louis went off to get changed, Harry and Gemma sat on his bed, while the other boys were in their room, playing Xbox.

"Where are you going Louis?" Harry asked.

"I told you...English lit group."

"Don't believe you! Where are you really going?"

"Harry! I'm telling the truth. It's a group, we meet at the library. You can come if you don't believe me!" Louis almost shouted, hoping Harry didn't actually want to come too.

"Fine!" He huffed and laid on his back. 

"I'm ready, so see you guys later." He said as he left the room.

"I don't believe him either.... he's wearing aftershave!" Gemma stated.

"And he hasn't even shaved!" Harry added.

*****

Harry is laying on the dirty, smelly mattress on the cold, dark cabin floor. He's been here a while now.

He's scared, tired and hungry. His tummy and head hurt. He wants to die.

He feels sick. It smells so bad in the room, there's no toilet so he's had to wee on the floor. He feels terrible for doing it, but has no other option.

Mitch comes in every now and then. Not to see how he is, or to talk, or to say he's taking him home. 

He comes in to touch him. To please himself. To hurt Harry.

"Hey. Little man!" He says with a smirk on his face, as he walks in the room. 

Harry scoots back against the wall, scared because he knows what's coming next.

"Don't try and hide. There's nowhere to hide!" He laughs. 

Harry feels vomit rise in his throat, but swallows it, afraid he'll get punished if he's sick.

Mitch walks towards him and kneels down in front of him.

The man is only wearing a vest top and shorts. Harry doesn't look at him.

"Time for some fun little one."

He reaches forward as Harry tries to cover his body up. He's trying to make himself as small as possible, hoping it'll make him disappear.

He pulls Harry close to him and holds him so he can't move.

Harry can't move though. He's so scared, he's paralysed with fear.

Mitch pulls Harry's clothes off, not that he was wearing much to start with.

"Such a cute little body." He murmurs.

His hand wanders down his tiny, shaking body to his private parts. Harry flinches. 

He touches him for what seems like forever. Harry is hating it so much. 

Mitch gets hard and rubs himself on Harry's bottom, moaning.

The sick pervert, pulls his own shorts down and puts Harry down on the mattress. He's not gentle about it.

Then he raped him. He doesn't care that he's hurting the little boy so much. He's bleeding. He's screaming. But he can't move.

It seems to last an eternity to Harry and when Mitch is done with him he just ups and leaves him laying there, messy and sobbing.

It happens again later that day, and the next. 

Harry can't take it anymore. He wants to die.

There's nothing in this room to kill himself with though.

He's had enough of his pathetic life. He could stop Mitch, but his body just let's him get on with it.

Mitch comes in again later that day. He's drunk.

"I've had my fun." He slurs. "One last fuck and I'm gonna kill you boy!" 

Harry is barely awake. His poor little body is giving up.

Mitch rapes him again. This time is the worst. 

When he's done, he starts smacking Harry. Slap followed by a punch, followed by another slap. 

Then he pulls out a knife.....

*****

Harry starts screaming, sitting up quickly in his bed, but not quite awake, he throws up.

Louis immediately wakes up, shocked at seeing and hearing Harry so distressed.

"Oh god! MUM! DAD! HELP!" he cried out as he rushes to Harry's bedside.

He threw up again, then screamed, then fell back against his pillows, passed out. His body was shaking, he was sweating, he looked truly awful.

Their parents ran in, hearing all the noise.

"What's happened?" Lucy said as she saw Harry's jerking body on his bed. "Call an ambulance!" 

Liam got his phone out, but dropped it out of shock. He picked it up and dialled 999.

Harry's body stilled. He was groaning and whimpering. His hands clenched, holding his sheet so tight, that his knuckles were white.

Lucy pulled his covers back, he needed to cool down. He'd wet the bed. 

Taking no notice, she told Louis to get a cold damp cloth from the bathroom.

"It's ok baby, you're ok now." She pulled him closer. He was literally soaked in sweat.

He was waking up. Confused. Terrified. He grabbed onto Lucy's arm, it hurt her how tight his grip was, but she said nothing.

"I'm...I.... I'm sorry." He cried. Tears were streaked down his face.

Lucy could feel his heart was racing. She wiped the cold cloth over his face.

He was still crying when the paramedics turned up.

"Hi I'm Jo and this is Dave. What's your name love?" The young woman who sat beside him asked.

Harry shook his head.

"His name's Harry. He had a seizure. He's had them before, after nightmares usually." Lucy answered for him.

"I see. I'm going to take your blood pressure, heart rate ecetera. Let's see what's going on. Ok?" She asked as Harry nodded, still gripping onto Lucy's arm.

"Harry you have to let go love." Lucy said, prising his fingers away, he left deep red marks on her arm. Harry saw them and started crying again. 

"No...no..no...I...I...hurt you...no...no!" 

"Baby it's ok. I'm not hurt, it's just marks. I'm fine love." She calmed him down slightly, as Jo did her observations.

"Heart rate is high, so his blood pressure. Does he take any medication?"

"Yes...he had antidepressants and anxiety meds." Liam got up and came back showing her his boxes of pills.

"Ok. I'm going to give him a sedative, if that's ok with you. It'll help him sleep tonight. I think he should see his doctor though."

"Thank you."

The paramedics left after administrating the sedative. Within minutes, Harry was asleep.

Getting Harry out of his bed was a struggle. He couldn't have stayed there though, bed soaked in urine and vomit. 

They moved him, cleaned him up, and put him in Louis' bed. He was more than happy to let Harry sleep there.

Lucy put the washing machine on, and headed back upstairs.

She found Louis sat next to Harry, brushing his hand through Harry's chocolate curls.

"You alright Lou?" She asked as she walked over to him.

Louis looked up at her, and she saw he was crying.

"That was scary Mum." He whispered, as Lucy sat down and hugged him.

"I know love. I'm assuming it was a nightmare? Did you hear anything before?"

"No. But he was a bit fidgety before I went to sleep. I wish he didn't have nightmares. It must be so awful for him." He said sadly.

"I know. He's been doing so well lately. Why don't you get some sleep?" 

"Yeah. I don't want to leave him though. I'll sleep on the floor."

"I'm sure he won't mind if you just got in with him. It's your bed after all." Lucy said, sleepily.

Louis nodded and pulled back the covers, getting in, and pulling the covers over them.

"Night Lou!" Lucy said as she closed the door.

"Night." He sighed and closed his eyes. But he never did get back to sleep.

He was worried about his brother.

He wondered what his nightmare was about, and why he kept having them.

He wishes it would stop.

*****

Harry didn't wake up the next morning.

Louis woke at 8am. He managed to finally go to sleep a couple of hours ago. He turned to face his brother. He didn't think he had moved at all in the night, the sedative worked well.

He laid beside him and watched him sleep for a while, before his bladder told him it needed emptying.

So...he reluctantly pulled himself carefully out of his bed, covering Harry back up and went to relieve himself.

After, he looked at his reflection in the mirror. "God, you look like shit!" He told himself, before washing his hands and leaving.

Niall was just coming out of his room. He looked terrible too.

"Lou....is...is Harry alright now?" He whispered. Louis lead him back into his and Zayn's room.

Zayn was laying in bed, looking at his phone. "Hey Lou!" He greeted and propped himself up on one elbow.

"You know what happened last night? He had another fit, think it was another nightmare. He's still asleep, they gave him a sedative. It was awful." He put his head in his hands as Niall lead him to Zayn's bed. They all sat together.

"We heard it, but...was too scared to come out. Sorry." Zayn said.

"Don't be sorry. I think I would have done the same. I thought he was getting better. He's been ok lately. I don't get it." Louis said, sniffling.

"Something must have triggered him?" Zayn suggested.

"Yeah. But what?"

*****

Later, Louis was talking to Gemma in her room. She had told him she needed to speak and he wasn't going to say no. It's not that he was scared of her, he was just...well...a little bit, maybe.

"Was Harry awake when you went to bed?" She asked, taking a sip of her hot coffee.

"No...he was already asleep. He was jumping around a bit. Don't think he was dreaming though."

"So...he doesn't know about your girlfriend yet?"

Louis looked startled. "No! I don't want him to know. Not yet."

"Probably a good idea, the way he is right now. So.... what's her name?"

"Eleanor." He replied, he could feel himself blushing again.

"Nice name. How old is she? Come on I want to know all about her." She was extremely nosey.

"Errr... she's seventeen, few months younger than me. She's pretty, has long dark hair. She's funny, and obviously goes to my college."

"And you fucked her last night!" Gemma added, smirking.

Louis gasped. "What??? How did you?..."

Gemma laughed. "I told you that you looked fucked. I was right. So was it your first time?" 

Louis' face was now bright red and very hot, he felt his heart racing. He was totally embarrassed. He hardly knew Gemma and this was a personal thing. But...

"Yes." He whispered, shyly. "Yes. I'm not a virgin any more."

Gemma laughed again. "Oh I meant first time with her, but ahhh that's cute. What was it like?" 

Louis stood up and walked quickly to the door. "Sorry... I'm not comfortable with this conversation. I'll see you later." He said as he left. Gemma still giggling on her bed.

*****

Louis was sat at his desk in the bedroom, doing college work when he heard Harry stirring.

He whimpered a bit and turned over, opening his eyes.

"Hey Harry. How are you feeling?" Louis asked as he got up from his chair and sat beside him on the bed.

"Ok...why am I in your bed?" He asked, confused.

"You don't remember?" Harry shook his head. Louis assumed it was because of the sedative that he couldn't remember.

"We think you had a nightmare. You had a seizure. We had to call 999." 

Harry looked shocked. He doesn't recall anything. "I have a headache." He said, rubbing his temples to try and calm the pounding.

"I can ask Mum for some paracetamol if you need some?" 

Harry shook his head. " No...I don't want them. It's not too bad. I'll live with it." He lied. He really wanted the pills but he's still scared of overdosing, though that wouldn't happen again, he was sure. It was all so confusing for him.

"I better tell Mum you're awake though. Back in a min."

Harry sighed and closed his eyes. He still felt really tired. He wished he could go to sleep for a month or more.

Lucy came in with a glass of water and some food.

"Hello darling." She said as she placed the objects down on his bedside table and sat beside him.

"How you doing?" 

"Lou said I had a fit. I don't remember anything." 

"That's normal to not remember having a seizure love, you've done that before."

"I don't know anything though. Why am I in his bed!"

"Oh love. You had a nightmare. You...you were sick all over your duvet and, well...you wet the bed." Harry cried when she told him that fact. "Don't cry love, you couldn't help it. It's fine, don't worry." She hugged him, able to feel his pulse racing.

"Can you remember the dream?"

Harry shook his head, and sobbed. Truth is, he could remember that, just nothing after that.

Lucy sat on Harry's bed for a long time, just hugging, kissing and comforting, until Harry fell into another deep sleep.

*****

It was a few weeks later, when the inevitable happened....

"Louis, there's a young lady at the door asking for you." Lucy called up the stairs.

Harry looked over at Louis. "What girl?" He asked.

"Erm...my friend, Eleanor. I don't know why she's here, I better see her." He said quickly, leaping up off his bed and running down the stairs.

"El! Why are you here?" He whispered as he took her hand and lead her back outside.

"I wanted to see you babe. You've not been answering my texts, or calls, or emails, or WhatsApp..." 

"I've been busy." He lied. Truth is he was getting a bit fed up with her clingyness. 

"Oh. We'll can I come in and meet your family, as I'm here?" She started walking to the door, Louis pulled her back.

"No. No sorry. My...erm, my brother isn't very well, it's contagious, wouldn't want you to catch it." 

"What about you though? Are you immune?" She looked sceptically at him.

"Yes... it's chicken pox, I've had them." He thought quickly.

"Oh that's ok then, I've had them too." She smiled.

"But... he's really sick with it. He's on the sofa, he'd be embarrassed if you saw him." He was starting to panic.

You see...the only one who knows about Eleanor is Gemma. He doesn't want anyone else to know, afraid of upsetting Harry.

"Louis.... you're lying to me. Why won't you let me in?" She crossed her arms, looking sternly at him.

"Why should I lie to you!" He was starting to raise his voice.

"You tell me? Are you ashamed of me? You wanna dump me? Is that why you've been ignoring me?"

Louis didn't know what to say. 

"I knew it. Well I'll do it first... Louis Payne, you are officially dumped. I don't know what I saw in you. You're a crap fuck! Go to hell!" She yelled, turned around, and ran down the road, not looking back.

"Fuck it!" Louis sighed as he sunk to the ground. His heart was pounding. "Fuck fuck fuck!" 

The door opened behind him and Liam appeared beside him.

"You wanna talk Lou?" 

Eleanor was his first girlfriend, so had never experienced being dumped before. He was shocked, but also thankful. He liked her, but she was so annoying.

"I guess you heard all that?" He replied, pulling at his hair.

"Yep. Sorry. It was a bit loud. You ok?" Liam asked.

"I'm relieved I suppose. She was alright to start with, but I bet in a couple of months she would've been begging me to marry her " he laughed.

"Oh. Like that was it?" 

"Just a bit."

"How long were you together?"

"Dunno...bout six months, maybe."

"Six months? Why didn't you tell us?"

"I was worried. I didn't want to upset Harry."

"Upset Harry? How?"

"If he knew I had a girlfriend, he might think I don't love him anymore. He'd think I wouldn't hug him or sleep in his bed...I dunno!" 

"Lou. Harry wouldn't want you to not have a girlfriend for the whole of your life would he?"

"I... I don't know. You think I'm being stupid?"

"Not at all. I think you just really care for him. But you need to think of what you want and about your feelings too."

"Ok." Louis sighed. "My bum has gone numb can we go in now?" 

Liam laughed. "Yeah come on." They both stood up and went inside.

"What were you two doing out there?" Lucy asked as they walked in. "Where's the young lady?"

Louis looked at his Dad his face begging him to tell her. Liam nodded and Louis went upstairs.

He went in his room and saw Harry sat on his bed reading a book.

"Where's your friend?" He asked quietly, placing the book on his bedside table.

"Oh she had to go. Can I talk to you Harry?" 

"Yeah, of course." Louis sat opposite him, legs crossed, Harry did the same.

Louis didn't know where to begin, or what Harry's reaction would be.

"That girl... she's my...well, was my girlfriend. She just dumped me." He explained. 

"Oh. Girlfriend?"

"Yeah."

"She dumped you?"

Louis nodded. 

"What's it like to have a girlfriend?"

Louis was shocked at that question.

"It's...nice. you do nice things together."

"Like what?"

"Go on dates, hold hands, cuddle, kiss..."

"What's kissing a girl like?"

Louis felt his face blush. "It's nice. There's different types of kisses, they're all nice."

"Oh. Can we watch a film?" Harry suddenly changed the subject.

"Sure."

"You choose!" That made Louis laugh as he never gets to choose the film they watch. They ended up putting Peter Pan on.

Harry sighs as he wonders if he'd ever have a girlfriend.

But he knows he won't...who would want to be with a freak like him?

*****

Harry! Harry! Harry!" Gemma burst in his bedroom yelling, making him jump.

"God Gem, don't do that!" He yelled back.

Gemma was jumping up and down like she was possessed or something.

"I got some great news though Harry!"

"Tell me then, but calm down and stop jumping!" He smiled.

Gemma sat down next to him on his bed and smiled brightly.

"Mum's being released from prison next week! It's great news isn't it?" She jumped back up and danced around his room.

Harry, however, wasn't excited. In fact he felt sick. His heart was racing and he felt dizzy.

"I'm gonna go text all my friends. Laters Hazza!" She said as she went out to tell everyone the news.

As soon as she was out of the room, he stood up and ran to the bathroom. He threw himself down in front of the toilet, hurting both knees in the process, and vomitted up his lunch.

Louis had passed Gemma on the stairs, and she quickly told him. That worried Louis so he went to his room to see if Harry was alright, but he wasn't there.

He heard pained noises coming from the bathroom, he rushed in and found Harry in a familiar spot, hunched over the toilet spewing up everything in his stomach.

Louis sat behind him and rubbed his back, as Harry heaved again.

He stayed silent until it seemed that Harry was done.

"Harry?" Louis said quietly. "Gemma told me. Are you ok?"

Harry shook his head, still looking into the toilet bowl.

"Shall I get Mum? Or Dad?"

"No! Don't go! Don't leave me!" He cried, wiping his nose on his sleeve.

Louis pulled him closer, and wrapped his arm around him.

"Shall we go to our room? You done here?" Harry nodded, and Louis helped him up.

They sat on Louis' bed.

"She's c-coming out Lou!"

"I know. I'm sorry." He didn't know what to say.

"She's gonna get me!"

"No Harry. She won't get you. She won't live around here." Louis wasn't convincing himself, let alone his brother.

"She'll get me, she'll hurt me, like he did. I don't want her to hurt me!" He sobbed.

"Harry, I need to get Mum or Dad."

"No Lou, don't leave me alone! She'll get me when you're gone. Please. I don't want her to get me!" 

Louis was panicking at how distressed Harry was.

He pulled his phone from his back pocket and sent his Dad a text.

Within a minute Liam was in the room. He knelt down in front of them, eyes concerned.

"Harry love. Look at me." He said quietly, taking Harry's hands in his.

Harry looked up slowly. Liam noted his bloodshot, wet, puffy eyes, his pale skin, his lip wobbling. His heart broke at the sight.

"Can you tell me how you're feeling?"

Harry sighed. "She's coming to get me. She's gonna hurt me. He's told her to kill me. She's gonna kill me!" 

"No Harry. Your Dad hasn't spoken to her. She won't take you or do anything to you, I promise."

"I have to h-hide. Let me go p-please." He was shaking as he tried to stand up, but Louis pulled him back down.

"Let me go. I have to hide. Don't tell her where I am p-please!" He begged.

Lucy appeared at the door. She'd heard some of what was said, and called their doctor, who should be here soon.

"Harry, darling." Lucy said as she entered the room. Harry didn't look up. He had his head in his hands, pulling at his hair.

"Listen...you don't need to see Anne. She won't hurt you love. We'll never let her hurt you. You know that don't you?"

There was a knock at the door and the doctor came in.

"Hello. Sorry, one of your son's let me in." He said.

"Hi doctor James. It's ok. Harry's a bit poorly." Liam replied, making room for him to get to the still sobbing boy.

"Hey there Harry. You're not feeling too good?" 

Harry shook his head, letting go of his grip on his curls. He looked at the doctor.

"My head hurts, everything's fuzzy. Can I hide now? Please." He whispered, exhaustion taking over him.

"Harry, can you lay down? I'm going to give you some medicine." The doctor asked. Harry nodded slowly and laid down. Hugging Louis' pillow, breathing in his scent.

He closed his eyes, as the doctor injected him with a sedative.

Within seconds, he was asleep.

His parents and Louis all let out the breaths they'd been holding.

They thanked the doctor and Liam showed him out.

"He's not gonna get better is he?" Louis asked his Mum, sadly.

"We're doing our best love. It's just so hard to get over what he's been through. It might never happen completely, but we can try." She replied, hugging him.

Louis stayed with Harry, while the rest of the family were downstairs.

"Gemma..." Lucy said as she sat next to her on one of the sofas. "...I know you're excited, but remember Harry hasn't had such a great time. He is very upset. I'm not mad at you, but please watch what you say and do."

Gemma looked sad, at the realisation that she upset her brother. She didn't think.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset him. I'm happy Mum is coming out, oh god... I'm an idiot!" She scolded herself.

"Don't get mad at yourself love. You just need to know that he may never get over what happened. Just be careful, please." 

Gemma smiled. "I will."

Would Harry ever be able to forgive his Mum? Only time would tell, but right now, it's not looking possible.

*****

Harry had been set in a deep depression for the last two days.

The only time he's left his bed was to use the toilet. He's hardly eaten anything and won't talk to anyone.

Of course, his family are worried sick.

Louis stays in the bedroom, just so he knows he's not alone. 

"Harry. You should eat something. You're gonna get sick if you don't." Louis said quietly.

Harry didn't respond. He wasn't asleep. He hasn't been sleeping well. He can't stop thinking about Anne and Des conspiring to get him.

"Can you hear me? Can I sit with you?" He asked, he desperately wanted to hug his brother.

Harry shrugged his shoulders. 

Louis went over and sat on Harry's bed. He placed a hand gently on his shoulder, making Harry jump.

"It's ok, it's just me."

Harry relaxed and sighed.

"You want a hug?" He asked. He heard Harry sniff, meaning he is crying.

"Harry. Come here please. Turn over. Hug me." 

After a few moments Harry turned over. Louis was shocked.

Harry looked awful. His face was as white as a ghost, his eyes were sunken and had dark rings around them, the whites were bloodshot. His lips cracked, with dried blood on them. 

Louis tried not to cry at the state he was in. God did he try? But it was futile.

Tears rolled down his cheeks as he laid down beside Harry and pulled him to his chest.

One hand was gripping his shoulder, the other rubbing up and down his arm. Holding him tightly.

"Oh Harry!" Louis whispered, as he felt his shirt starting to get wet from Harry's tears.

He felt him shaking, as his emotions got the better of him.

He had been alone, kind of, for the last two days. Not letting anyone get near him. Now Louis is here, he lets it all out.

There's silence, except for Louis' sniffing and Harry sobbing.

Harry was gripping Louis' shirt, so his knuckles were white.

"If you...if you ever want to talk to someone about how you're feeling, come to me. I want to help. I'd never turn you away." Louis said. He felt Harry nod slightly against his wet chest.

"Don't ever keep things to yourself. That's not healthy. We all love you. You know that, right?" Harry nodded again.

"I love you so much Harry. I want you to be happy. I know it's hard. I know you've been through hell. I wish I could switch places with you. You are such a wonderful boy. You don't deserve to be unhappy."

Harry's hand relaxed on Louis' shirt, and he felt his body relax, feeling heavier.

Louis knew Harry was asleep. The poor boy was exhausted. He didn't want to move him though, so they just laid there for who knows how long. Louis enjoying the warmth radiating off of Harry's body.

*****

"Louis. Louis. Wake up love." Louis opened his eyes, being woken from his unplanned sleep by his Mum.

"Oh. Hi. Didn't mean to fall asleep."

Harry was still in the same position he was in when he fell asleep two hours ago.

"You both ok?" She whispered, looking at Harry.

"Yeah. I guess. I spoke to him. He didn't say anything, just cried." Louis looked sad.

"Poor boy. Dinner's ready. You coming down?" 

Louis nodded. "Shall I wake him up? Must be starving." 

"I wish he'd eat. You can try love. See you downstairs." She replied as she left and went back to the kitchen.

Louis didn't really want to wake Harry up, but he knew he should see if he wanted to eat.

He shook he shoulder, gently. "Harry. Dinner's ready. You want to eat something?"

Harry moved slightly then opened his eyes.

"Y-Yes p-please." Louis was thankful to hear him say that.

"Shall we go down then? Before it gets cold. Harry froze at that suggestion.

He shook his head and grabbed Louis' arm.

"What's wrong?"

"Eat h-here?" He asked, a tear appearing in the corner on his left eye.

"I guess Mum won't mind. I'll go get it." He went to get up but Harry held his arm tighter.

"D-don't leave m-me!" He whined.

Louis sat back. "Ok. It's ok. I'll text Mum." He got his phone from his pocket and sent a text.

Lucy replied saying it was coming up.

She appeared five minutes later, holding a tray with a plate of food, a drink and cutlery. Zayn was behind her holding another identical tray.

"Room service." Lucy smiled as she placed the trays on the bed.

The boys all smiled. 

"Hope you manage to eat something Harry. I love you." She said and left again.

"You ok Harry?" Zayn asked. He hadn't seen his brother for days, he was missing him, but his parents told him not to bother him.

Harry looked up and smiled. Zayn smiled back and went down to eat his own dinner.

"This looks good Harry." Louis stated as he picked up Harry's plate and placed it on his lap, putting his drink next to him on the bedside table, handing him his knife and fork.

He did the same with his own food, sitting opposite him on his bed.

Louis took a forkful of the shepherd's pie and ate it, humming his approval.

"Bloody hell Harry, you gotta eat this. Mum makes THE best shepherd's pie, even better than the shepherd's do!" He smiled, Harry let out a small giggle.

Louis watched as Harry hesitated in picking up his fork. He put a small amount of food on it and put it in his mouth.

He closed his eyes as he chewed. He hasn't eaten anything for a couple of days. His stomach aches at the lack of food in it. It tasted lovely, just as Louis said, so he carried on eating, until his plate was empty.

He didn't notice that Louis finished before him and had been watching him with a big smile on his face.

"Feel better?" He asked as Harry placed his cutlery on the plate, and wiped his mouth.

"Y-Yes th-thanks" he hates it when Harry stutters, knowing he's scared, or worried about something.

"I'll just leave these outside the door." Louis put everything, except their drinks, on one of the trays and put it outside their door. He texted Lucy to tell her they were done and Harry had eaten all his food, which earned a smiley face emoji text back.

*****

The day had arrived. 

The day Harry was dreading.

His Mum was being released from prison at 3pm.

Gemma was so excited. She was meeting her as she was let out. One of Anne's old friends was picking her up to take her to the prison soon.

Harry was in bed. He wasn't asleep. He hadn't slept at all the previous night.

Bad thoughts spinning around his head, like washing in a tumble dryer.

He couldn't move. It's like he was paralysed from fear.

His brothers were all at school and Liam was at work, meaning he was home with only Lucy for company, not that he felt like having company.

"Harry love....can I come in?" Lucy asked after knocking lightly on his bedroom door.

Harry didn't reply. He didn't have any energy to do so.

Lucy sat on his bed and ran her hand through his curls.

"You want to try some food love? You must be hungry."

He looked up at her and shook his head.

"You need to eat. You don't want to get ill darling. Do you want to talk about anything? Your Mum maybe?"

Harry frowned and bit his lip, trying not to cry again. He was too tired to cry.

"She won't come here. You know that. And...you don't have to see her. Nobody will make you do anything you don't want to." She took his hand, rubbing his knuckles.

She noted how cold his hand felt.

Harry nodded. She heard his tummy rumble, making Harry frown again. It must really hurt.

"Please try something. Just some toast?" She asked, hopefully.

Harry sighed and nodded.

"Good boy. I'll be back soon love." She got up and left Harry alone.

He pulled his duvet up over his head, and cried.

*****

At 3.30, Lucy got a phone call from Gemma.

"Hi love. Everything ok?" Lucy asked.

"Yes. Oh Lucy I'm so happy. Mum is so happy too. You know her friend that picked me up, well she's gonna live with them, as you know, but she said I can move in too. That's brilliant isn't it? God I'm so excited."

Lucy's heart sank.

"Oh. Well. You know you're meant to live with us until you're 18?"

"Yeah, but that's like only a couple of months away. It'll be ok. You know how much I want this. Please Lucy let me do it?" 

Lucy bit her nails, while she thought. This is going to tear Harry apart.

"I guess I can't stop you, if that's really what you want."

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I'll come over and get some of my stuff in a bit. Bye!" And with that the call ended.

Lucy looked at her phone, shocked. She had an idea that Gemma might want that, but deep down she hoped she wouldn't.

She made Harry some toast, took a deep breath and went up to his room.

She found Harry under his duvet, she could see him shaking underneath it.

"Harry. I've got your toast." She placed the plate on his bedside table with a mug of hot chocolate.

He pulled his duvet down. He sat up and Lucy hugged him.

"Harry.... Gemma just called me." Harry looked at her, tears on his red cheeks.

"I'm sorry but.... she's going to live with Anne." Harry cried again.

"It's ok love. She'll be ok. You'll still get to see her." 

"I'm s-scared." He whispered.

"Why?"

"She might k-kill G-Gemma!"

"Harry...that won't happen love. She's safe. We'll keep checking up to make sure everything is alright. Don't worry."

*****

Louis and Harry were cuddled up in Harry's bed. Lucy told Louis that Harry wasn't doing too good today, so he made it his mission to make him feel better.

"I love your cuddles Harry. You're the king of cuddles!" He said. He felt Harry giggle.

"Am I good at anything?" He asked.

Harry thought for a moment.

"Making m-me feel b-better." He whispered as he snuggled into Louis' chest.

He'd missed his older brother today. He wishes Louis could stay at home with him, rather than going to college.

"Gem will be here soon. Do you want to see her?" He asked, not sure how Harry would respond.

"If you s-stay too."

"Course I will. I'll miss her. She's a great kid."

Harry sniffed.

*****

"I'm sorry. I didn't want him to get upset." Gemma said to Louis as she sat on his bed.

Harry started crying the minute she walked in the door. She was so happy and excited. Harry was scared and worried.

"You know it's hard for him Gem. He's not angry at you. He's just worried. He thinks you're gonna get hurt. It's just how his mind works. I don't think it'll ever change."

"Mum won't hurt me. Like she never hurt him." She whispered.

"Do you actually know that though? You only have her word for it. Harry doesn't remember."

"Please don't Louis. I don't want to think that my Mum could hurt him. She went through so much with Des. He hurt her so much. I don't believe for one minute that she would have."

"Harry. I love you so much! I won't forget you. I'll still come and see you, if you want me to. We can text and call all the time, if you want? I always wanted a brother. I've only just found you, I don't wanna lose you. Please stay in my life. I need you in my life. Please?" 

Louis was trying to stop himself crying.

Harry sat up as Gemma came over and wrapped her arms around her.

"I L-Love you too Gem." He cried on her shoulder. "D-dont forget me?"

"Never!"

A few minutes later, Gemma left to get her things, thanking everyone for everything.

She said her goodbyes and left.

Harry is hoping that's not the last time he sees his sister.

His heart aches.

*****

It is Louis' 18th birthday today. 

He would have loved a party, but all his college friends had gone home for Christmas, and he didn't think his family would want one. 

So...he sat on the living room floor and opened his presents.

"Thank you all so much. I love you guys!" He said as he placed his gifts on the coffee table.

He didn't get too many presents, but knew he'd get more tomorrow. He hated having his birthday on Christmas Eve.

It had started snowing outside during the night, covering the grass in a thin sheet of crispness.

The boys were praying for more snow, desperate for a white Christmas.

Lucy was busy in the kitchen, putting the finishing touches to Louis' birthday cake.

"Hello Harry. Want to help?" She said as Harry appeared next to her.

He nodded. "Please. It smells nice. Can...can I lick the bowl please?" He sounded so sweet, the way he asked.

Lucy smiled. "Course you can love. How about you do a bit of decorating?" 

Harry nodded his head, enthusiastically. He loved helping his Mum make cakes.

He got a piping bag full of green icing and started piping it all around. He was concentrating hard, tongue poking out of the side of his mouth.

Lucy thought he looked cute, she smiled.

"You've got a very steady hand there."

Harry smiled, as he carried on until the cake was covered.

He picked out some sprinkles and added them to the top. 

Then the finishing touch, lots of little chocolate footballs.

"There!" He said, standing back to admire his work.

"That's fantastic Harry! Let me take a photo." Lucy went to the living room and came back. She took a photo of the cake, plus another of Harry holding it, with a proud smile on his face.

Lucy hugged Harry. "Well done! Now you can pick the bowl!" 

He licked it clean.

*****

"Happy birthday to you  
Happy birthday to you  
Happy birthday dear Louis  
Happy birthday to you!" 

His family sang as Lucy brought the cake into the living room, eighteen candles flickering on top.

Louis blew out the candles, as his family all cheered.

"Make a wish!" Niall said.

Louis did.

His favourite music started playing and the boys all jumped up and started dancing, except for Harry.

He sat on the sofa next to Lucy, her arm around him.

"You gonna dance too Harry?" She asked over the loud music. He shook his head. He was shy and too embarrassed.

He still had trouble with his balance and didn't want to fall over. 

"Come on...you can dance with me." She smiled and Harry couldn't resist that smile.

So he got up slowly with her and they started dancing.

Louis didn't mind that he wasn't having fun with his friends, because...having fun with your family is much better and more precious.

The evening was going great. They were all happy, dancing, singing, enjoying Louis' birthday.

Harry was tired out. He flopped down on the sofa, watching his brothers jumping around. His parents were getting dinner ready in the kitchen.

He closed his eyes, and surprisingly, despite all the noise, he fell asleep.

*****

He woke up in his bed, confused.

"Hey Harry. You ok?" Louis asked from his own bed.

Harry turned to face him. "Did I dream your birthday?" He asked, yawning.

Louis laughed. "No love. You fell asleep. Dad bought you up here. You were well gone!"

"Oh. Sorry. Did I miss anything?"

"Nah, just dinner. Mum's kept yours. I'll tell her you're awake."

"Thanks Lou."

Louis got Harry's dinner for him, and sat next to him as he ate.

"You're good at dancing!" Louis said, smiling.

"No I'm not." Harry's face blushed. 

"You are. Better than me. Dancing is good for you too. Keeps you fit." 

Harry shrugged as he ate his chicken drumsticks. He was very hungry.

"Did you have a good day?" Harry said, wiping the grease from his mouth.

"Oh god yes. I hate having my birthday on this day, but it's been really good. Can't believe I'm 18 though. I'm getting old." He laughed.

There was a knock at the door. Zayn and Niall came in.

"We have cake!" Niall said, licking his lips.

"Oh yes!" 

The boys sat on Harry's bed, shoving the cake in their mouths.

"Ahhh.... Mum makes the best cakes in the world!" Zayn said, licking his fingers.

"Harry decorated it!" Louis added, making Harry blush again.

"It's really good Harry. You'll have to decorate my cake too." Niall said, then he licked his plate clean.

"Niall! Don't be such a pig!" Zayn shoved him and he fell off the side of the bed. 

The other boys burst out laughing. 

"AHH yeah thanks lads!"

Zayn collected the plates once they'd all finished eating.

"We gonna go to bed now. Big day tomorrow. Night guys!" 

"Yeah night!" 

The door closed and Harry sighed.

"You ok?" Louis asked him.

"Yeah. Just tired. Can I sleep in your bed?" 

Louis smiled. "You don't have to ask. Come on." 

They both got up and went to brush their teeth and use the toilet, before snuggling up together in Louis' bed.

"Louis?"

"Yes love?" 

"Happy birthday." Harry closed his eyes.

"Thank you. Goodnight love." He smiled, hugging his brother tight.

*****

February 1st 2008....

Louis woke up next to Harry. He had a bad night, another nightmare.

He hadn't had one for a while, so it was a surprise when Louis was woken up at 2am by Harry crying.

It's 7.30 now, Harry is still asleep, facing Louis.

He laid there looking at his brother for a long time, not wanting to move from the warmness under the duvet.

Louis wishes Harry didn't have nightmares. He never asks what they're about, although he can take a good guess. He feels so sad that Harry went through so much shit when he was younger.

Harry stirred, and stretched out his arms.

"Happy birthday Harry." Louis whispered, as Harry opened his eyes. Green meeting blue.

He smiled seeing Louis next to him.

"Hi." He yawned. "Thanks. Sorry I woke you up earlier."

"It's fine. You ok?"

Harry nodded. "You're lovely and warm." Louis laughed.

"So are you. Shame we have to get up. Can't spend your birthday in here though." 

Harry sighed. "Guess not."

"What's up?"

"Nothing. I'm hungry. Can we go get breakfast?" Harry asked.

"Sure."

*****

They got downstairs ten minutes later and headed to the kitchen.

"Morning boys. Happy birthday Harry!" Lucy greeted them, giving them both a hug and kiss.

"Thought I could hear you two talking, so breakfast is ready. The boys will be down on a minute, and Dad's just popped out, he'll be back soon." 

The boys sat at the table and Lucy placed two plates in front of them, a full English. The boys faces lit up, they don't get this every day.

Niall and Zayn joined them soon after.

"Hey Harry! Happy birthday!" Zayn said patting his back. 

"Yeah happy birthday!" Niall added as he put his arms around Harry.

Harry smiled. "Thank you."

They are their food, while chatting about the weather. It was snowing again.

"Morning boys. Happy birthday Harry." Liam said as he came in from the cold. He hugged Harry, who shivered, feeling the cold that Liam bought in with him.

Once breakfast was over, they all went to the living room, sitting in front of the fireplace. It was nice and cosy.

Harry always gets overwhelmed on his birthday and Christmas. Not being used to getting attention and presents. 

He sits on the floor and looks at the gifts in front of him, his hands shaking.

"Come on Harry, open them!" Niall yelled.

"Niall! Let him do it in his own time!" Liam said, noticing that Harry jumped when Niall yelled.

"Sorry."

Harry slowly picked up one of the presents and started peeling the paper. It was a journal, with a brown cover with a lovely gold pen.

"Thank you. It's lovely." Harry said quietly, flicking through the pages.

"To write down your feelings and stuff, like the therapist said." Lucy explained. Harry smiled.

He opened some more. Various CDs and DVDs, books and clothes. It was too much really. Harry felt he didn't deserve so much.

He opened his cards next. Then there was an envelope.

He looked confused, then worried.

"It's... it's not from...?" He stuttered.

"Oh no love. It's from us. Open it." Lucy said, realising that Harry thought it might have been from Anne.

Harry opened it carefully and pulled out some tickets.

He read what was on them and gasped.

"Really?" He smiled.

"What are they?" Niall asked, trying to look over his shoulder.

"Tickets to the England Brazil match....today!" He said, shocked 

"OH MY GOD HARRY!" Niall yelled again.

"Yes. We're all going to the match. Is that ok?" 

Harry jumped up and hugged his parents.

"Thank you. This is gonna be amazing!" He was so happy.

Niall was jumping around the living room. He was football mad and had never been to a proper match before. The family all laughed at him.

"Great present eh Harry?" Louis asked. "Gonna be a good game."

Harry smiled. He was excited but also worried. There's going to be thousands of people there, lots of noise. But he knows his family will be around him, taking care of him. He'll be ok.

*****

The family were sat inside Old Trafford football stadium in Manchester. None of them has been before and all of them were overexcited.

"Shit! I can't believe I'm in the theatre of dreams!" Niall said, causing Lucy to glare at him for swearing.

Louis giggled and looked at Harry.

"You ok?" He asked, seeing Harry was in some sort of trance like state.

"Wha...oh yeah. Just... it's just so...  
Big!" He exclaimed, looking all around. 

It certainly is an impressive stadium. It was gradually filling up with fans, and was getting noisier.

By 3pm, there wasn't a single empty seat. It was freezing cold, but they were warmed up just by sitting near so many people.

Harry wasn't feeling totally comfortable. 

Being with so many people. 

So many strangers.

So much noise.

He tried to put his fears to the back of his mind and concentrate on the match.

The players came out, sang their national anthems and kicked off.

Every now and then everyone would stand up, cheering or shouting. Swearing.

Harry tried to join in. This is what he had begged for a while ago.

To do normal things.

Going to a football match was one of the things he wanted. He just didn't expect it to be this noisy and scary.

England scored and the crowd went wild. People were jumping up and down, screaming, singing and throwing their beer all over the place.

Harry sat still with his hands over his ears, his heart pounding in his chest.

He'd never had to deal with anything like this before. 

He was used to peace and quiet, and only his family.

This was a bad idea coming here. But he feels bad. His parents paid a lot of money for these tickets.

So he stood up and clapped, all the time his heart thumping.

Half time came around and they all left their seats.

"I...I need the t-toilet." Harry whispered to Louis, who nodded.

"We're going to the loo." He told the family who were queueing up for burgers.

"Ok love see you back in the seats." Lucy told them.

They headed to the toilets. There was a queue there too, of course.

Eventually, they reached the front of the queue. Harry went into a stall, while Louis used the urinal.

Louis finished and waited for his brother.

The queue went down and everyone was returning to their seats.

"Harry. You ok in there? The second half is starting!" Louis said through the door.

That's when he heard crying. Louis' heart sank.

"Harry. Can you open the door?"

There was no reply or movement. Louis was starting to worry.

"Harry please. I'm worried. Let me in."

The door lock clicked and Louis pushed the door open. He saw Harry sitting on the closed toilet lid. His head in his hands.

Louis went in and locked the door behind them.

He knelt down to Harry's level and placed his hands on Harry's, lowering them from his face.

"What's wrong?" He asked quietly.

They could hear the second half had started. All the noise began again.

"It's... it's too m-much. I...I don't like it. S-Sorry!" He sobbed.

Louis pulled his into his own chest and rubbed his hand up and down his back.

"Oh Harry. Don't cry. It's just normal for a match. Nothing bad will happen. I promise."

"I've spoiled it f-for you. You're m-missing it now." Louis can feel Harry's tears on his shirt.

"No you haven't. It's fine. If you don't want to stay, then we can go. Nobody's gonna make you stay. Do you want to go."

"You'll hate m-me."

"No I won't. All I care about is you. If you don't feel you can stay then we go. I don't care about the match."

Harry nodded. "Sorry."

"That's enough. No more apologies." He helped Harry stand up, gave him some tissues to wipe his eyes and blow his nose and took his hand.

They left the toilet block.

"Wait here while I tell everyone. We'll wait in the car. Luckily I remember where the car's parked." He smiled.

Harry sat on a bench as Louis went back to the family.

"Oh god is he ok?" Liam asked, worriedly.

"It's just too much. I don't mind missing it. I'll keep him safe." Louis said.

"We got burgers for you, they still feel warm. Here's the keys. Don't leave the car, we'll be right there." Lucy said. Louis said goodbye and went back to Harry.

"Come on. We got burgers." He smiled, handing Harry one and taking the wrapper off of his own.

They ate in silence, heading to the car park.

They found the car, after looking for it for ten minutes. Louis sent them in the wrong direction.

They got in the front seats and closed the doors.

"How you feeling?" Louis asked, getting a blanket out from under the front seat and covering them both with it.

"Stupid!" came Harry's reply.

"Hey! You are not stupid! Don't you ever say that." 

"Sorry." Harry looked down and fiddled with his fingers.

"Stop saying sorry Harry. It's not your fault. It scared me a bit too. All those people shouting. We're not used to it. None of us have done anything like that before. It's just harder for you." He took Harry's hands in his and squeezed them, trying to reassure him.

Harry smiled. He felt so bad for Louis. He loved football so much and was his first proper match, and he spoiled it because of his stupid fears.

Before long, the rest of the family returned, all piling into the car, bringing the cold in with them.

"You ok boys?" Lucy asked as she settled into the passenger seat.

"Yeah. What was the score." Louis asked.

"We won 2-0!" Zayn said handing them some water.

"You ok Harry?" 

"Yes. Sorry. I got scared." He said shyly.

"It's fine love. As long as you're ok."

They swapped places, so Louis and Harry sat right at the back of the seven seater, Niall and Zayn in the middle. All covered in blankets, despite the heating being on.

Liam started driving home.

Ten minutes into the journey, the car started making weird noises.

"Shit. What's wrong with it?" Liam wondered out loud.

Lucy swatted his hand. 

Then there was a bang and the car stopped.

"Oh for fuck sake!" 

"Liam please stop swearing!"

"Sorry Lucy, but we're in the middle of nowhere, in the cold and dark, it's snowing and the car's died. I can't help swearing."

Zayn and Niall were giggling at that exchange, not often do they hear their parents argue or swear.

Louis looked at Harry and shrugged.

Liam got out of the car and lifted the bonnet up, he had a torch with him, luckily.

"Fucking thing! Can't see a fucking thing. Argh!" He was losing his temper. He just wanted to get the family home.

Would he get the car fixed and get them home, or would they be stuck in the middle of nowhere all night.

*****

Gonna have to call the AA. I don't know what's wrong with it!" Liam said to Lucy through the window. He got his phone out, only to find he had no signal.

"Shit!" He cursed. "Anyone got a phone signal?" He asked, hopefully.

They all got their phones out to check.

Nobody had a signal!

"Fuck!" 

"Liam! Will you please stop swearing!" Lucy yelled. 

"Sorry, but what do we do now? We're still miles from home, and it's still snowing. There's no bloody traffic cos it's a short cut. We're gonna be stuck here for god knows how long." 

"Fuck!" Niall said quietly, Lucy still heard, and glared at him. He mouthed a 'sorry' to her.

"Lou..." Harry whispered. Louis looked at him and leant his head closer so he could hear.

"I... I'm scared." 

Louis unbuckled his seatbelt and moved to the middle of the seat. "It's ok. We'll find a way home." He put an arm around him.

"I'm hungry!" Niall said. Everyone groaned.

Liam got back into the car, he was shivering. It was getting colder outside.

"You're always bloody hungry Ni!" Zayn laughed.

"Well...If I get too hungry, I can just eat Harry!" 

Harry gasped and hid his head under the blanket.

"Niall ...you wanker! Don't say that. Jesus Christ!" Louis shouted, kicking the back of seat Niall was sitting in.

"THAT'S ENOUGH! NO MORE SWEARING! NO STUPID COMMENTS! NO COMPLAINING! WE'RE STUCK HERE SO PUT UP WITH IT!!!" Lucy screamed.

She was so pissed off and tired. She wanted to get her family home, but it looks like they're going nowhere.

The car went quiet, except for muffled sobs coming from Harry.

"Shhh... it's ok." Louis whispered, trying to calm Harry down.

"Sorry "Niall said, looking miserable.

"Ok. Just calm it down please?" 

*****

Two hours later, it was 9pm now, and Harry was asleep, his head rested on Louis' lap.

Nialls' stomach was rumbling, but he didn't mention it. Zayn was listening to music he'd downloaded on his phone. Lucy and Liam were trying to think of how to get home.

"How far is it?" Lucy asked.

"Still about five miles. We can't walk. It's far too cold." Liam replied.

"But...what do we do then? If nobody comes this way, and it keeps snowing..."

"I don't know. Maybe once it gets light, I could walk. There's gotta be somewhere between here and home. A house or petrol station?"

"That's hours away. I'm worried about the boys. Harry needs his meds too." 

"I know love. I'm worried too."

Louis was fidgeting in his seat. He disturbed Harry, who woke up, realising where he was, and groaned.

"Sorry Harry. I need a wee."

Harry groaned again.

"You boys alright?" Liam asked.

"Yeah. I just...I need a wee." Louis replied. Niall giggled.

"Aww don't wet your pants Lou!" He laughed, Zayn joined in.

"What did I tell you boys?" Lucy warned. That shut them up.

"I'll come with you Lou. Anyone else need to go?" Liam asked.

The boys all said yes, making Lucy laugh. "Hurry up, try not to let it freeze when it comes out. No icicles in the car please!" 

Liam laughed and they all got out, following him to a clearing by the road.

"Fuck, it's freezing. I don't wanna get my dick out." Niall said. Zayn nearly choked.

"Just get on with it Ni!" 

They all did their business and headed back to the car.

"Better? No I icicles?" 

"Nope. Everyone is ok." Liam said, rubbing his hands together to warm them up. "You not going?"

"Oh I went over there. You lot took a lot longer than me." Lucy laughed.

"Oh...I found some crisps and biscuits in the boot. I forgot I packed them."

"Yes!!" Niall said taking a packet, opening it quickly.

"Share them please."

Niall sighed as he handed them round. They ended up with a packet of crisps and 3 biscuits each.

Harry laid his head back on Louis' lap. He didn't mind, as it warmed him up. Wrapped up in blankets, he looked so cute.

"Try get some sleep, will make morning come quicker." Lucy said.

Though it was so cold, even with blankets, they might find it hard to sleep.

*****

"Zayn.... Zayn!"

"Zayyyyn!" Niall poked his brother in the chest.

"Fuck off." He whispered back, not happy at being woken up.

"Zayn. I can't sleep. Talk to me." Zayn sighed.

"You'll wake everyone up. Just try. Count sleep or something."

"I'm cold. Hug me?" 

Zayn moved across and pulled Niall closer, wrapping two blankets around them.

They both fell asleep after that, but then there was more drama.

At 4.45 Harry woke up screaming, not knowing where he was. He scrambled around, and managed to get the car door opened. Louis tried frantically to stop him, but despite just waking up, Harry was fast.

"HARRY!" Louis shouted,waking everyone else up.

He shot out of the car, trying to find him. The family got out too. Switching flashlights on their phones on.

"Harry...where are you?" Louis shouted.

They heard another scream. 

"Fucking hell! HARRY WHERE ARE YOU?" Liam yelled, heart pounding.

Another scream broke through the silence and the group followed.

"Over here!" Zayn yelled, finding Harry on the ground.

"Shit Harry what happened?" Liam asked, kneeling beside him.

Harry looked up at him, petrified.

His head was covered in blood, his jeans were ripped. What the hell did he do?

*****

Harry..what happened?" Liam asked, seeing the blood pouring from his forehead.

Harry was crying, he looked like he'd seen a ghost. He was laying on the freezing snow, shivering, eyes wide.

"We need to move him. Get him back to the car." Liam said. The boys nodded and between them, and with a slight struggle, they got Harry back, limping, to the car. He was hyperventilating.

"No...no...no...no..." Harry repeated. He didn't want to get back in. But why?

"You have to get in, it's freezing out here." Louis said, taking Harry's hand, trying to calm him down.

"Harry, baby, listen. You have to get back in, so we can check you over. You're injured. Please?" Lucy said, quietly.

Harry looked at her, his eyes full of tears, bloodshot, scared.

He nodded, blood dripping from his wound onto his jumper.

Louis helped him get seated, between himself and Lucy.

She went into nurse mode straight away.

"Look at me Harry." She placed a brown paper bag that Liam had just handed to her, over Harry's face. "You know what to do. Take slow deep breaths." 

Harry did what he was told. He'd had to do this so many times. He hates getting panic attacks so much. He just wants to be a normal fourteen year old boy.

He took deep breaths, tears and blood still dripping off his face.

Eventually, his breathing returned to normal.

Louis held his hand the whole time. He was scared. Yes, he'd seen plenty of Harry's panic attacks, but this is the worst. 

He was hurt. 

Liam passed over the first aid kit, from the glove compartment.

"Good boy." Lucy said, rubbing his back as he calmed down.

"Why did you run love? How did you hurt yourself?" 

The boys and Liam were sat in front of them, all in shock, but keeping them quiet.

"H-He took me...in h-his car." He whispered, not wanting to say it out loud.

"Who love?"

"Him...he t-took me."

It clicked on Lucy's brain, that Harry was talking about Mitch.

"Baby.... he's not here. He won't get you again. You're safe with us." 

Harry bit his nails. 

"I... I saw him. I h-had to get away from him."

"It was a nightmare, Harry. It's not real."

"He scared me Mum." He cried into Lucy's chest.

This was affecting everyone in the car right now.

They could hear sniffles coming from Niall and Zayn. This was the first time they'd heard Harry talking about Mitch. Though they knew what happened to him.

"Hey... boys... it'll be ok. Don't worry." Liam whispered to the two. They nodded and cuddled under their blanket.

Lucy checked Harry's head wound. It was quite a deep cut. He would need to go to hospital, it definitely needed stitches. 

She opened the kit, and took out some antiseptic wipes, and started cleaning his would. Harry winced, and cried out. It was so sore.

She cleaned as much blood as she could, and placed a bandage around his head.

"Is your leg hurt too?" She looked at his torn jeans.

"It aches." He replied.

Lucy nodded. "Sorry, but can you pull them down, so I can have a look?" 

Harry blushed, but undid his zip and button, lifted himself up a bit, and with help from Louis, managed to pull his jeans down.

There was blood on his thigh. Another deep cut. 

Lucy cleaned up the wound, making Harry jump. 

"It really hurts!" He cried out. He grabbed Louis' arm and bit on his sleeve.

"Sorry love. I'll be quick."

Harry kept flinching, as Lucy cleaned him up, wrapping another bandage around his leg. Then she helped pull his jeans back up. By the time she had finished, Harry was sobbing.

"You want some painkillers?" She asked.

Harry shook his head. "No...no...no...I can't!"

"I'm not going to make you, but if you're in that much pain, love, you should. You'll be ok."

Harry cried, wiping his cheeks on Louis' shirt.

"Ok. Just one." He said quietly.

Lucy got a single pill out and placed it in Harry's shaking hand. He placed it on his tongue and took a water bottle from Louis to help it down.

"Good boy. Sorry if I hurt you." Lucy said. Harry smiled wearily at her.

"Sorry I ran away." 

Harry fell asleep shortly after that, much to the relief of the family.

"What are we gonna do?" Louis whispered, not wanting to wake Harry up.

"Well... it's 6.30 now. Should start getting light soon. When it does, I'll go out, try and find somewhere to get help." Liam stated.

"But... it's so cold out there." Niall said, trying not to cry any more.

"I'll be fine. I've got my coat, gloves, hat and scarf." Liam said, but Lucy was worried. What if something happened to him too?

As soon as it started to get light, Liam said he would go. He was already in his coat, as it was so cold in the car, so he just put his other accessories on.

"Right. You all stay here. Don't leave the car, unless you need to wee. As soon as I find somewhere I'll be back. If someone happens to pass you, ask for help and go to the nearest garage. Ok?" Liam said.

Lucy and Louis nodded. The other three boys were asleep.

"I love you all so much. See you soon." He said leaning over and kissing his wife.

"Be careful Liam." Lucy replied. 

He left the car and started walking in the direction they were heading.

Now they just had to sit and wait...

*****

Liam had been gone for an hour.

Everyone in the car was awake now.

"I hope Dad's ok." Niall said, looking out of the window. The snow was still falling, it wasn't heavy though.

"I'm sure he's fine. He's probably found a house or something now. He'll be back soon." Lucy replied. She wasn't sure if that was the truth, but she didn't want to worry the boys any more than necessary.

Harry held Louis hand, so tight that Louis thought he would cut off his blood circulation.

"You ok Harry?" He asked, looking at his brother, who didn't look at all well.

"I don't feel good." He replied, his voice shaky. "My head hurts."

"You should take some more painkillers love?" Lucy said. Harry sighed and nodded.

He had missed two rounds of his medication now, and Lucy was starting to worry.

He took the pills, without a fuss and closed his eyes.

Lucy gave a worried look towards Louis, who looked equally as worried.

"Are we gonna die here?" Niall suddenly spoke up, making everyone gasp.

"Niall! No we're not. Dad will be back soon, you'll see." Zayn replied. Niall was crying, so Zayn put his arm around him, letting him cry into his chest.

Niall always got emotional when he was hungry. It didn't happen often, as he always had food he could eat, but none of them had eaten for around 16 hours now, and Niall was feeling it worst.

"Mum..." Harry whispered.

"Yes love?"

"I...feel...bad." he stuttered, his hand going to his mouth. He suddenly turned green.

Louis opened his door and helped Harry out.

He got him away from the car, unsteady on his feet, and Harry threw up.

Lucy appeared beside them, and rubbed Harry's back, as he threw up again.

Louis had to hold him up, as he couldn't put his weight on his injured leg.

"You done now?" Lucy asked.

Harry nodded. "Sorry."

"Don't apologise. You can't help it. Let's get you back inside." Lucy said.

They got Harry sat back down. Lucy headed around to her door, and opened it.

That's when she spotted a car coming around the corner towards them.

"Shit! Oh god yes! Thank you!" She yelled as she stood at the roadside and waved her arms, frantically.

The car was driving slowly, due to the snow, and it came to a stop just in front of her. She ran up to it.

The driver tolled down his window.

"You ok there? Broken down?" He asked.

"Yes. Oh god am I pleased to see you. We've been stuck here since last night. My son is hurt, and sick. My husband went for help ages ago. Could you help us please?" She spoke quickly.

"Of course. Hop in." He said, willing to help.

"There's five of us...will we fit in?" She was concerned at the size of the car.

"We'll be ok as long as the police don't catch us. There's a garage a few miles up the road."

"Thank you." She went to their car, already seeing Zayn standing outside. 

"Come on, he can take us to a garage. Hopefully Dad is there." She explained, helping Harry to get out.

He hobbled over to the other car and got in the front. The others sat in the back. Niall had to sit on Zayn's lap.

The car drove off. "So, did you crash or something?" The driver asked.

"Oh no. Something wrong with the engine I think, made a big bang." Lucy replied.

"Oh that's not good. Least you didn't crash though."

In no time at all, the garage appeared in front of them. Lucy sighed in relief.

"Thank you so much. You saved our lives." Lucy shook the man's hand when they got out.

"It's no problem. Glad I could help. Hope you get home ok." He said and waved as he left.

Liam wasn't at the garage. 

They went into the garage shop and bought loads of sandwiches, crisps and drinks.

"Excuse me. Have you seen this man in here this morning?" Lucy asked the shop assistant, showing her a photo of Liam on her phone.

She studied it for a few seconds. "No, I'm sorry, I haven't. I've been here since 5." She shook her head.

"Ok. Thank you." Lucy sighed and paid for the items.

Once outside, she noticed her phone had a signal.

She immediately called Liam's phone.

It didn't ring, just went straight to voicemail.

"Damn." She cursed.

She then dialled Karen.

She answered on the first ring.

"Lucy! Where are you? We've been worried sick!" She yelled before Lucy could speak.

"Oh god Karen. I'm sorry. The car broke down on the way home last night. We've been stuck in the middle of nowhere. Liam went to get help a few hours ago, we don't know where he is. I'm so scared."

"Where are you? I'll come pick you up." She asked.

"The garage just out of town. Harry needs to go to hospital too. He's hurt." She was crying now.

"It's ok love, don't cry. We'll be there as soon as possible." She hung up.

Niall wrapped his arms around his Mum. "It's ok Mum." He said. She smiled down at him.

Ten minutes later, Karen and Geoff appeared.

Lucy ran over to them, explaining exactly what had happened.

Geoff called the police, and a search was set up. He then arranged for their car to be picked up and bought back to the garage.

Karen drove Harry, Louis and Lucy to the hospital. She then went back and picked the others up taking them back to her house.

*****

Harry was laying on a hospital bed.

"Is he ok?" Lucy asked the doctor who was treating him.

"He has a slight concussion, the wounds will need stitches. We'll give him his medication too, as he missed it. He'll be fine though. You can take him home once the stitches are in."

"Thank you "

Needless to say, Harry hated having stitches. He screamed and cried all the way through it. The fact that he'd only just had his medication not helping him.

"Please stop! It hurts!" He yelled, swatting at the nurses hands.

"Harry, you need to calm down. The quicker this gets done, the quicker we get home." Lucy said. She just wanted to get out of there.

She needed to know where her husband is, and if he's ok.

*****

I've cursed your family." Harry whispered, eyes red and wet.

"What? Why'd you say that?" Lucy asked him, shocked. She took his hand and rubbed his knuckles.

"If...if it wasn't my b-birthday, we wouldn't h-have gone out. The c-car wouldn't have broken down...and Dad wouldn't be missing. You shouldn't have adopted me... I'm... I'm trouble." Harry looked down, tears flowing again. He lifted his free hand up to his face and covered it, too ashamed.

"Harry, listen to me. You are not trouble nor have you cursed us. Our family, is your family. Things happen. They can't be helped. Don't you dare blame yourself for this." Lucy tried to calm him down.

"B-Bad things always happen though!" He sniffed, wiping his nose on his sleeve.

"Harry. Please stop this. Don't keep blaming yourself. We don't blame you. We love you." Lucy replied, giving Harry a tissue.

Suddenly the door flew open and Louis rushed it, out of breath.

"Dad's here! They found him!" He panted. Lucy stood up quickly. Harry tried to get up but he was in too much pain, and slumped back against the pillows.

"Is he ok? Where is he?"

"I just saw him. He slipped and fell down an embankment. He's hurt, but it's not serious. The doctor is coming to take you to him."

"Oh thank god!" Lucy sat back down, her heart racing. 

*****

Lucy walked into Liam's room, seeing him laying on a bed, asleep. He looked peaceful, except he was covered in cuts and bruises.

"He's exhausted. He'll be ok though. He was extremely lucky. Could've been a lot worse!" The doctor explained.

Lucy nodded her head, as she took a seat next to him.

"How did he get here?" She asked.

"A dog walker found him. Or should I say the dog did. It ran down the embankment and barked, the owner then called 999. He's lucky she did, much longer and he might not have made it. You know how cold it is out there?" 

Lucy cried thinking that Liam might've been an hour or so from death.

"We'll do some checks once he wakes up, I think he can go home later."

"Thank you doctor."

"Liam...you twat! Why didn't you just wait with us!" She scolded him. He smiled.

"Liam!"

"Hi love!" He croaked, opening his big brown eyes. "Sorry, I'm a twat!" 

Lucy flung herself at him, kissing his face all over, hugging him, like she hadn't seen him for months.

"Don't you ever scare us like that again, do you hear me?" 

"Loud and clear. Can we go home now? I'm so hungry, I could eat a scabby carthorse!" Lucy laughed.

"Bloody hell, you must be hungry!" I'll go get the doctor back."

*****

"Stop it now please Harry!" Louis said, trying to get Harry's hands from pulling at his hair.

"I'm a fuck up Louis!" He cried, rocking back and forward. His head pounding, his leg aching. "Everything turns to shit when I'm around!" He screamed.

"Please calm down. Don't pull your hair love. Please stop." Louis didn't know what to do. 

"Tell him to go away!" He shouted, pointing behind Louis, making him jump. Who was he talking about? There's nobody else here.

"Who?"

"Him... he's gonna get me. She... she's coming too. They gonna k-kill me!" 

Shit!

Not knowing what else to do, Louis jumped up and hit the emergency button.

Within seconds a doctor and nurse entered the room. 

Louis explained what was going on. They gave Harry a sedative.

*****

Liam was discharged. They headed to Harry's room, expecting him to be discharged too, but they got a shock when they opened the door.

"Louis?" Lucy whispered.

Louis jumped up and ran to them, hugging both in turn.

"He had a breakdown. He...he kept saying they were coming to kill him. They had to sedate him Mum. It was horrible " Louis cried. "He can't go yet. They need to check him when he wakes up."

They made themselves as comfortable as possible, waiting.

Harry looked calm. Totally different to an hour ago. His face was still a bit damp from his tears.

His skin was clammy. Every now and then, a small whimper left his dry, cracked lips, and he would frown, as if he was having a nightmare.

It wouldn't be surprising if he was having one. 

Why can't things just be good for him? 

All he wants is to be happy, normal and live life to the full.

Would that happen though?

*****

"Can I have a word please? In my office" The doctor said, as he entered Harry's room. 

"Yes, of course." Liam replied, he gave Lucy a worried look. They followed the doctor to a small room and sat down, taking each others hand.

"Is something wrong?" Lucy asked, quietly.

"I'm concerned about Harry. I've been looking at his medical notes."

Lucy held Liam's hand tighter, scared at what he was going to say.

"I see he's had a number of breakdowns, where he's had to be sedated. Have you noticed any other odd behaviour lately?"

They sat in silence for a while, before Lucy spoke. "He keeps worrying that his Mum and uncle are going to kill him. He had a very traumatic childhood."

"I see. I'd like to run some tests if that's ok with you?"

"Tests? What are they for?" Liam asked, his body tensed up.

"I don't beat to alarm you, but I'm concerned he may have some sort of paranoia, possibly schizophrenia. Let's do the tests first before you start worrying?" 

Lucy clasped a hand to her mouth to stop her crying out. How could they have not wondered if there was something like this going on?

"Oh god. Please no. He's been through enough. Not that!" Tears escaped her eyes, and Liam put an arm around her.

"Please, do the tests. When will we know?" Liam asked, his voice shaky.

"We'll test him straight away. We should know today. Obviously, he has to stay here for a while. Try not to worry." He said.

*****

Louis was sat at Harry's bedside.

Harry was awake, but quiet. Louis had asked him questions, but he didn't answer, just laid there, staring into space, frowning now and then.

"Talk to me Harry please? You're scaring me." Louis whispered, holding his hand.

He shook his head. At least that was some sort of response.

"Why not love?" 

Harry looked over to the door, terror in his eyes. He turned over, and pulled the sheet over his face, his body shaking.

Louis scooted around the bed, so he was in front of Harry again. He tried to pull the sheet down, but Harry had it in a death grip.

The sheet ripped. 

"No!" He shouted, trying to pull it up further. "He's coming!" 

"It's just me here, nobody's going to get you!" He put his hand through Harry's hair, but he flinched and swatted it away.

"DON'T TOUCH ME! I DON'T LIKE IT! GO AWAY! LEAVE ME ALONE!" He screamed, trying to punch Louis.

He hit the emergency button with his fist, he was in tears, never seeing Harry in this state before.

The doctor rushed in, followed by Liam and Lucy.

Harry was hyperventilating. He fell on the floor, curled up in a ball, trying to catch his breath.

The doctor and Liam managed to get him back onto the bed, each breath was a struggled.

He had a oxygen mask placed over his mouth, and the doctor administered some meds to calm him down. His breathing eventually evened out and he fell back on the pillows, exhausted.

"What the hell happened?" Liam asked Louis.

"I just asked him to talk to me, and he went crazy. He said they were coming to get him again. He tried punching me!" Louis cried, falling into Lucy's arms. 

"It's ok Lou." Lucy said, getting him to sit down, as the tears continued.

"We need to do these tests now." The doctor said, the parents agreed.

"Please, do what you have to. We can't see him like this anymore." Liam said.

*****

"Paranoid schizophrenia?" Liam asked.

"Yes. I'm so sorry. We'll start him on medication straight away. We'll refer him to a psychiatrist too." The doctor replied.

"How will he cope with this, after everything else that's happened? What caused it?"

"Childhood trauma is possible. The meds will make it better. It will take time though. Make sure he sees the psychiatrist though. And talk to him. I'll give you some booklets and a list of websites to look up."

"Thank you."

Once the doctor left the room, they all hugged. Harry was asleep. 

They needed to be strong for him. This was going to be so difficult.

But with the love of the family, they'd get through this together.

*****

The log fire was blazing in the living room. It was still snowing outside, laying a foot deep now, and showed no signs of stopping.

It was half term at the school and college the boys attended, although, with all that snow, they would've closed anyway.

The family had just eaten lunch, sat in the cosy room, rather than the colder kitchen.

Harry had been home from hospital for three days now, and had been very subdued ever since.

He felt as if he was a burden. He wishes he could hide in his room, but the family want him with them, to prove how much they love him, and how big a part of the family he is.

He laid on one of the sofas, his head on Louis' lap, his feet resting on Liam's lap.

He was tired. The meds he is now on make him very tired, his body still adjusting to them. They also made him sick.

"These people are dumb!" Niall said pointing at the TV. "Didn't they go to school?" Zayn laughed.

They were watching an afternoon quiz show.

"You should go on there, Niall, you're SO clever!" Zayn poked him in his head.

Harry suddenly clutched his stomach and jumped up off the sofa, running to the bathroom.

"I'll go!" Liam said, getting up and following him.

He found Harry hunched over the toilet bowl, gagging, then spewing up his lunch.

Liam felt sorry for him. He sat on the bath, beside the toilet, and gently rubbed Harry's back.

He tensed as he threw up again.

"Make...it stop!" He managed to say, before he was sick again. His stomach muscles were cramping, squeezing him like a vice. "It hurts."

Harry had been dry heaving for a couple of minutes, when it finally stopped. He collapsed against Liam's legs, Liam's hand carding through his chocolate curls.

He noticed how hot and sweaty Harry is. He frowned. "Let's get you cleaned up love." He said, pulling Harry up to sit on the now closed toilet seat.

Liam flushed it, then got a flannel, running the cold tap until it was freezing, on to it. He squeezed the excess water out and placed it on Harry's forehead. He winced at the coldness on his burning skin.

He wiped his mouth, and neck, trying to cool him down.

He gave Harry some water to rinse the disgusting vomit taste from his mouth, then headed back to the living room.

Everyone looked up, worried, when they walked back in. Harry laid back down, this time with his head on Liam's lap.

"You ok Harry?" Lucy asked.

He shook his head and held his aching stomach.

"It's not right this!" Liam said. "He can't keep being sick. I think we should call the doctor." 

Lucy nodded. She got up and went to the kitchen and made a call.

"We'll get you better love. I promise." Liam said calmly. Harry closed his eyes and fell asleep.

Louis looked at him, sadly. He'd do anything to help Harry.

*****

"So. He can take these new pills straight away. Give it a couple of days. If there's still no improvement, call me back. Sometimes it can take a while to find the right meds, let's hope this is the one. Hope you feel better soon Harry." The doctor said, before leaving.

"I'll go get the prescription. I won't be long." Lucy said.

"Can we come with you? We just want some fresh air." Zayn said, looking at Niall.

"Ok. Get your coats and boots on quick though." She agreed.

Luckily the pharmacy was in town, not too far away. Near enough to walk. Just as well, as the snow is too deep to drive in.

*****

When they got home, Liam was in the kitchen, making hot drinks.

"What happened to you two?" He laughed, seeing the boys were wet with bright red faces.

"We had a snowball fight. It was fun. Zayn was rubbish though!" Niall giggled.

"Get those wet things off and get warmed up, I've made hot chocolate." He replied, getting a tray to place the mugs on.

"Yeah!" The boys both yelled, kicking off their boots.

"You get the pills alright?" Liam asked.

"Yes. I'll make some toast then he can take some. He been ok?" She replied, taking her own coat and boots off.

"Yes, just slept the whole time."

"Got your drinks boys. Warm you up." Liam said as he put the tray on the coffee table. The boys all grabbed a mug, except for Harry who was just waking up.

"Thanks Dad." They all said, Harry groaned at being woken up.

"Harry. I've made you some toast. Eat it, then you can take your new pills." Lucy said handing him a plate of warm buttered toast.

He sat up, he could feel his stomach turning, just looking at the toast. He really didn't want to eat, scared of being sick again, but he also knows he needs to eat to take the new pills.

He sighed and picked up a slice, staring at it, before nibbling gently at the edges.

He had tears in his eyes as he ate. He's begging his stomach not to eject the food again.

Eventually, he finished one slice. "No more." He whimpered.

Lucy looked sadly at him and nodded. "Ok love. You ok?" 

Harry was crying. 

"Take your pill now?" He nodded, wiping his eyes.

He swallowed the pill with water, and laid back down, waiting for what he thought was the inevitable, but praying to be ok.

He cuddled up with Louis, blanket around them, and Louis whispering how proud he is of his little brother.

*****

August 2009...

"Are you nearly ready Harry?" Lucy shouted up the stairs.

"Yeah, just coming!" He called back, putting his jacket on, checking his reflection in his mirror.

It was a Saturday morning and Harry was excited.

He walked down the stairs to his Mum who was waiting by the front door. "Don't want to be late on your first day love. I'm so proud of you." She said, hugging him. "Are you excited?"

Harry nodded, feeling a tad nervous too.

"I am." He replied simply, as they walked to the car. They got in and buckled up.

Lucy drove them into town, parking next to Grimshaws' bakery.

"Here goes." Harry said, as Lucy kissed his cheek.

"You'll be fine! Text me when you want picking up. Good luck!" She said, a big beaming smile on her lips.

Harry got out and waved, as the car drove away. He took a deep breath and pushed the door to the bakery open.

He went up to the counter. There was a young man standing there, looking happy, he smiled at Harry.

"Hi. What can I get you?" He asked. His name badge said his name was Olly.

"Oh...hi... I'm H-Harry... I'm starting work here today." He said, the nervousness showing in his stutter.

"Ah yes, Nick said you were coming in today, I'll get him for you. I'm Olly by the way." He shook Harry's hand and went to a back room.

Harry's heart was thumping in his chest. His mouth was dry and he was shaking a bit. He told himself to calm down, taking slow deep breaths.

"Harry! How are you?" Nick said as he greeted the boy, also shaking his hand. "Nice to have a younger lad here. You've met Olly. We have Anna here today too, she starts at noon. Olly can introduce you to her later." He was very talkative, bit seemed nice.

Nick showed Harry the premises, from the small staffroom, to the the storeroom.

Once Harry found a locker and left his jacket and phone inside, Nick took him back to the front of the shop.

"So. Olly will look after you today, he'll show you the ropes. It's all quite straightforward. But if you have any problems, my door is always open." Nick smiled.

"Thank you." Harry replied, putting his apron on.

Nick returned to his office, leaving Harry and Olly out the front.

"So Harry, this your first job?" Olly asked as he stocked up the doughnuts.

"Yes. It is. I'm a bit worried."

"Why's that?" 

"I've never really done anything away from home before." He replied, passing more cakes over.

"Oh. How old are you Harry?" He asked.

"15. How old are you?"

"I'm 20. Been working here since I was 16. It's a great job. I'm sure you'll love it here!" He grinned.

He decided he really likes Olly already.

Midday came around quickly.

The bakery had been busy, and Harry was doing well. He learned to use the cash register with ease, and was getting on well with the customers.

A young woman walked in the shop and walked to the staff room. Harry looked at Olly.

"Oh that's Anna." He said as if reading Harry's mind. "She's ok, she won't bite." He laughed.

Anna walked back to the front with her apron on. She had long blonde hair and blue eyes. Harry thinks she's pretty.

"Anna...this is Harry our new boy!" Olly said.

"Hi Harry." She said smiling.

"Hi. Nice t-to meet you." Harry replied, he can feel his face blush, so he quickly turned away to serve an old lady.

"Go easy on him. He's very nervous." Olly whispered to Anna. 

The day went by quickly, and before he knew it, she shop had closed.

Nick came out to cash up the till.

"So...how was your first day Harry?" He asked patting his back.

"Oh...I think it went ok." He said shyly.

"He was brilliant, Nick. The customers love him already." Olly added, smiling at Harry, whose cheeks were flushed again.

"That's great. So... we'll see you next Saturday then?" Nick asked.

"Yes..oh yes thank you. Thank you so much!" Harry was elated, he wasn't sure if he would be wanted.

Nick laughed. "You can go now. See you then!" He said.

Harry got his jacket from his locker, sending a quick text to Lucy.

"Bye. See you next week." He waved as he left.

"Sooo...how did it go?" Lucy asked when Harry got in the car. He looked happy, that was a good sign, she thought.

"Mum...it was great. I love it there. The people I work with are lovely, and the customers are all great too. I can't wait to go back next week. I can go back, can't i?" He rambled.

Lucy looked at him. "Course you can love. I'm so glad it went well." 

They spent the short journey home talking about his job. It was great that Harry loved it.

He was so different from how he was a few months ago.

His medication was helping, though he still had his bad days.

He can never completely erase his bad memories of his past.

But he's making a start.

*****

The following Saturday, Harry was back at work. He'd been looking forward to it all week. 

His confidence had been growing, and he'd made two new friends.

Friends. Something he'd never had before. It felt strange, but good.

"How was your week Harry?" Olly asked.

"Oh. Um...bit quiet actually. How was yours?" He replied.

"Very busy. Been here most of it. I do five days here. I play football on Sundays. You should come along and watch. Or, you could join in. We're looking for new players." 

"Umm...maybe. I'll think about it." He'd only ever kicked a football around their garden before, so he wasn't very good, and didn't want to embarrass himself.

"What do you do all week then? Still at school I expect?" Olly asked again.

"No...I get home schooled. Mum teaches me." He fidgeted.

"Home schooled? Why's that?" 

Nosey! Harry thought. But he didn't see the point in lying.

"I...I have problems. I don't like crowds. I have to take meds." He whispered so nobody else could hear. "Nick knows, before you say anything."

"Ok. I won't pry. If you ever wanna talk though, I'm a good listener, and I don't judge people." He patted his back and smiled.

Harry really did like Olly. He could see them being really good friends.

Anna came storming into the shop at noon, face like thunder.

"Oh god, that don't look good." Olly said, watching her stomp past them to the staff room.

Harry looked bewildered.

"I swear I've had it with men. Nothing but fucking trouble!" She yelled as she stepped behind the counter.

Two old ladies exchanged disgusted looks with each other. Olly apologised for her outburst.

"Anna, keep it down or Nick will be out." Olly warned her.

"Argh! I'm so angry. He's been seeing another girl. I could kill him!" She continued, ignoring him.

Harry was worried. He hates people shouting, reminds him of his Daddy.

He moved away from her, trying to block her voice out.

"Anna. Please be quiet." Olly warned again, pulling her to the side. "You're making a show of yourself in front of the customers. Anyone could report you and you'd lose your job. Do you want that?"

She shook her head. "No. Shit, I'm sorry. I'll shut up." 

Harry had pushed himself into a corner, biting his nails.

Olly went over to him.worried.

"You ok? Don't worry about her. Her boyfriend is a twat and their relationship is toxic, think she's better off without him."

Harry nodded, still biting his nails. He looked scared.

"Why don't you take a break for ten minutes. You're due one." Harry nodded again, and took off to the staff room.

He slumped into a chair and put his head on the table.

A few minutes later, Olly came on to check on him.

He sat at the table, making Harry sit up.

"Harry. Is something wrong?" He asked, concerned.

Harry tried not to cry, but a tear escaped, trickling down his cheek.

"It's just...I don't like people shouting. Bad memories." He whispered.

"I'm sorry. I'll tell Anna not to do it again."

"Thanks. Sorry I'm a wimp." 

"Hey, you're not a wimp. We just don't know much about you yet. How about we go for a pizza or something after, get to know each other, just us three?" 

"I... I don't know. I'll ask my Mum." He got his phone out and sent a text. She replied quickly saying it was fine.

"That's great. We better get back to work. Come on. Chin up!" Olly said as he got up from his seat. Harry followed him.

The three work colleagues were sat at a table in a little pizzeria in town. Scanning the menu with rumbling stomachs.

"How long have you lived here Harry?" Anna asked.

"Erm...since I was eight." He replied, not taking his eyes off the menu.

"Oh...not seen you around." She replied.

Harry was silent for a bit, pretending to concentrate on the menu again.

"Harry?"

He looked up. "Oh umm...yeah I don't get out much."

"Why's that then?"

Oh god how Harry wishes she would shut up and mind her own bloody business.

"Anna, leave him alone. If he don't wanna talk then don't keep on!" Olly moaned at her.

The waitress came over, and they gave their orders. Harry was feeling hot and restless. Maybe this wasn't a good idea.

The food came a while later, and they all tucked in, chatting about work, and which customers they liked and hated.

"You got a girlfriend then Harry?" Anna asked, her mouth full of pizza.

Harry's eyes went wide and his face blushed again.

"Umm...no." he said, quietly.

"Why not? You're nice looking. Such a shame."

"Anna! For god sake will you shut up!" Olly yelled, making Harry flinch. 

"I ... I think I'm gonna go." Harry said. "I.. don't feel good." He went to stand up, bit Olly put his hand on his arm.

"Harry, please don't go." He said. Harry sat back down.

"It's ok. I'll go. I'll get this to take out. I'm just in a bad mood and annoying you. Sorry Harry." She stood up taking her plate to the counter, asking for a box.

"I'm so sorry about her. She's nice really. Will you stay?" Olly asked. Harry nodded.

"Right, I've paid for my pizza and drink. I'll see you next week Harry. I'm sorry." She said. 

She left them to it.

Harry felt a weight had lifted off his shoulders. She always seemed to make him feel uncomfortable.

They ate their pizzas, making small talk.

"I should get going now. Can I give you a lift home?" Olly asked.

"Oh...I don't mind walking." Harry said, feeling tired all of a sudden.

"No way. Let me take you? Hey... I'll give you my number, you can call or text anytime."

"Thank you Olly. You're very kind."

They exchanged numbers and Olly drove him home.

*****

Harry was laying on his bed, staring at the ceiling.

He had a bad night, woken up by a nightmare at 3am. He hadn't had one for a few weeks.

Louis had a day off from work. He worked at the local football club, as a coach. He loved it.

"How you feeling Harry?" Louis asked as he brought in a tray with mugs of tea and plates of toast on.

Harry turned on his side and pulled his duvet up, despite it being August.

"My head hurts." He said, rubbing his temples.

"Want some painkillers?" 

"No thanks. I'll have the toast though." He smiled, tiredly.

Louis sat beside him and handed a plate over. "So...you planning on staying in bed all day?"

Harry shrugged as he started eating. "Might do. Nothing else to do." He sounded sad.

"Well...we could go out somewhere? For a walk? Cinema? Or...you could come to the club, have a look round. You could have a try out for the boys team?"

Harry shook his head. "No...I can't play football."

"You don't know if you don't try."

"No thanks." He said. 

"Oh. How about the park then?" 

Harry sighed, and sipped his tea.

"Will you leave me alone if I say yes?"

Louis smiled. "Yes Harry. I'll leave you alone. Eat that up and get dressed."

"We're going now?" He asked.

"Yeah! While the weather's nice. Could go get some cakes from the bakery after, if you want?" 

"Fine! Can I finish breakfast first though?"

"Yeah. Don't be long." Louis said, finishing his own toast.

Twenty minutes later, the two were walking out of the house, down the road towards the park.

When they got there, Harry's eyes lit up.

"There's swings?" He said, mouth opened in surprise. "I thought it was just a park with trees and a pond?"

Louis laughed at his reaction.

"No... it's a proper playground. You wanna swing?"

"Hell yeah!" He said, running over to the swings, and sitting down on one.

Louis giggled as he walked over, taking the swing next to him.

Harry had never been on a swing, but had seen videos of his brothers on them. So he had no clue how it works.

"Watch me Harry." Louis said, getting his attention. "Sit on the swing but stand up, like this." He showed him. "Then lift your feet, as you go forward, stretch your legs out in front of you, and as you go back, put your feet back. You see?" Louis demonstrated.

Harry watched for a few swings before having a go.

He found it was easy.

He laughed as he swung through the air. "Oh Louis it's making my tummy feel funny!" 

Louis laughed too. "I know it's great isn't it?" He was trying to go higher than Harry, but not wanting to go too high, in case Harry went higher and fell off.

He stopped kicking his legs, telling Harry to do the same, and they eventually stopped.

"Oh god that's was fun!" Harry puffed.

They spent a good hour at the playground. As it was during school time, it was quiet, which Harry liked.

They walked to the bakery. Harry didn't know why he was so nervous to go in, but he was.

Louis opened the door, and walked in, Harry following him.

"Harry! How are ya?" Olly greeted him. "Who's ya friend?"

"Hi Olly...this is L-Louis my b-brother." He said, his stutter appearing again.

"Hi Louis. Nice to meet you. Harry's told me about you." 

"Really? All good I hope?" He laughed, shaking Olly's hand.

"Oh yeah, don't worry. It's all good. So you come in for some cakes?"

"Yeah. Thought I'd treat my lil brother." He replied, slapping an arm around Harry.

"Great. What would you like?" 

"Can I have a triple ch-choc ch-chip c-cookie p-please?" Harry's stutter getting worse. Louis noticed and held him tighter.

"Yup. And you Louis?"

"Err..think I'll have the same please. Better get four doughnuts too for the rest of em." 

"God yeah, don't wanna get in trouble for forgetting them." Olly smiled. 

He packed up the cakes, handing them to Louis and taking his money.

"We better be off. Was nice meeting you Olly!" Louis said as he turned towards the door.

"Yeah you too. See you Saturday Harry." He waved, happily. Harry smiled and waved back.

He took a deep breath when he got outside.

Louis looked at him, concerned.

"You ok? You stuttered quite a bit in there. Why's that?"

"I... I don't know." He shrugged. "I'm ok though. sorry."

"As long as you're ok."

*****

Harry had had a great day. He's so glad that Louis got him out of the house.

He was sat on his bed, thinking about going to sleep, when his phone rang.

He looked at the screen and saw Olly's name lit up.

He smiled and answered the call.

"Hi Olly." 

"Harry. Hope I'm not disturbing you?"

"No. Not at all. You alright?"

"Yes I'm good. I was just worried about you?"

"Me? Why?"

"You seemed so nervous when you came in earlier. Are you ok?"

"Yeah. Sorry I just get overwhelmed with certain situations. I'm sorry if I seemed rude or something."

"Oh god no. You weren't. I was just worried. Just wanted to check you were ok."

Harry smiled.

"Thanks. I'm ok honestly. Thanks for calling."

"Remember, you ever wanna talk, I'm here ok?"

"Thank you Olly."

"Take care, see you soon. Goodnight." 

"Night."

The call ended and Harry laid back on his pillows.

He definitely had found a good friend in Olly. 

*****

As the months went by, Harry grew to love his job.

He had six workmates, but he got along best with Olly and Anna.

They would spend time together outside of work, helping Harry's confidence to grow.

Harry and Anna had grown to really like each other.

"Are you doing anything tonight?" Anna asked Harry.

He looked up from the stack of cakes he was stocking up and smiled.

"Of course not, why?"

"Wondered if you wanna come to mine to watch a film?" She asked, a light blush on her cheeks.

Harry's face blushed even more than Anna's. "Erm...ok... I'd like that. Thanks." He smiled, hands shaking, slightly. "What film?"

"Oh...I don't know, just have a look on Netflix." 

"Great."

*****

The shop had closed, Olly left early, going to a dental appointment. Harry let his Mum know he'd be home later.

"Come on then." Anna said, grabbing her jacket, Harry getting his, and they locked the door.

They drove in silence, except for the radio playing some 1980s classics.

Ten minutes later, they arrived at a semi detached house, in a cul-de-sac on the edge of town.

They got out of the car, and entered the house.

Anna switched on the light and took her jacket off, throwing it on the sofa. Harry stood by the door.

"Come in then." Anna said, pulling him by his arm.

"Your Mum and Dad not home yet?" Harry asked.

Anna laughed.

"I live alone Harry." She took his jacket from him and placed it on top of hers.

"Oh. Right." He seemed shocked. She was a bit young to be living alone, he thought.

Harry sat on the sofa, Anna next to him, she turned the TV on and put Netflix on.

Harry studied her profile as she flicked onto the film section.

"So...what sort of film do you like?"

Harry thought he better not tell her that his favourite film is finding Nemo.

"Oh I like rom coms."

Anna looked at him and smiled.

"Ah, a romantic boy? I like them." She started scanning through the film's until she got to the notebook.

"Is this ok?"

Harry nodded.

Anna got up and went to the kitchen, coming back a minute later with two cans of drink and some popcorn.

"Just like a cinema." She said, settling down again.

She turned the lights down with a remote control and the film started.

Twenty minutes into the film, Anna put her hand on top of Harry's, making him flinch, she held it tight, not letting him take it from her.

His heart started beating faster.

She leant her head against his shoulder, as Harry's body tensed up. He found he couldn't concentrate on the film.

His mouth was dry, he desperately wanted a drink, but he was being held in place, and didn't want to say anything.

Anna's other hand moved across and wrapped itself around Harry's waist.

Harry felt like he was going to have a panic attack. He couldn't move, his heart was pounding.

Anna shifted her body, moving her face up closer to Harry's.

She let go of his hand and touched his face, turning it towards hers, she closed her eyes and her lips touched his.

She started kissing him.

Harry pushed her off of him, and jumped up off the sofa.

"Harry!" She cried out.

"I'm... I'm sorry...I can't... I'm sorry...I should...g-go." he stuttered.

He grabbed his jacket and ran to the door. It slammed behind him, as he ran down out of the cul-de-sac onto the main Street.

He panted and tried to catch his breath.

He slumped against a wall, and pulled out his phone from his jeans pocket.

With shaking hands, he called Louis, who answered on the second ring.

"Harry? Everything alright?" He asked.

"L-Lou..."

"Harry... what's wrong? Where are you?" He was worried now.

"I n-need you. G-get me,?"

"Tell me where you are Harry."

Harry told him the road he was sat on and Louis said he'd be there soon.

Louis pulled up in his car, and ran to Harry's side.

"What the hell happened?" He said, crouching down to hug his sobbing brother.

"T-take me ho-home." Harry replied, tears falling fast.

Louis helped him to the car, and they drove home.

They opened the door to their house and were met by a concerned Liam and Lucy.

"What's wrong Harry?" Lucy asked helping Louis get him to the sofa.

His brothers looked on, not knowing what to do.

"I found him on the street. He hasn't said anymore." Louis said.

"Harry...can you tell us? Did you go to Anna's?" Liam asked.

Harry nodded and wiped his nose on a tissue that Lucy gave to him.

"Did something bad happen?"

"Boys, can you go upstairs please?" Lucy asked. Zayn and Niall nodded and disappeared to their rooms.

Lucy sat next to Harry and took his hand. Harry flinched, and took it back.

"Sh-she kissed m-me. I'm n-not ready for that!" He stuttered.

"Oh I see." Lucy said. "I'm sure she'll understand."

"I b-bet she h-hates me know. I'm a f-freak!" He cried. Louis hugged him.

"No. You're not. Don't ever say that." Liam said, patting his knee.

"I am. I'm a f-freak!" He hit head head with his hand.

Louis grabbed it and stopped him.

Harry threw himself at Louis and sobbed into his chest.

Louis rubbed his back to calm him, bit it wasn't working.

"Harry... don't ever think bad things about yourself. You're not a freak. You're a wonderful boy, whose been through lots of shit. We all love you. We love you so much. And we'll always be here for you." Lucy said, a tear rolling down her cheek.

Harry nodded, but still clung to Louis.

Nobody said anything else.

Harry cried himself to sleep, still cuddled up to Louis. 

He never wants to let Harry go.

Ever.

*****

Thanks for meeting me." Louis said as Anna sat opposite him in a cafe in town. He'd ordered them two teas before she arrived.

The waitress placed them down in front of them and Louis smiled at her.

"I was gonna call Harry, but I didn't think he'd wanna talk to me." Anna said, sadly, taking a spoonful of sugar, and putting it in her tea.

"He's been really worried. He didn't mean to react the way he did. He thinks he's scared you off now." Louis sighed.

"I don't understand why he ran off. He does like girls right?" 

"Yes. He really likes you. A lot. He's just scared." Louis said.

"Scared? Of me? Am I scary?" She says, confused.

"No. Ahh it's hard to explain." Louis took a deep breath. "He had a hard childhood, until Mum and Dad adopted him. His real Dad was evil. He did things I can't go into. His uncle was the same."

Anna looked shocked, and saddened.

Louis continued. "He has a lot of trust issues." 

"I... I didn't know. God I feel so bad." 

"Hey. It's not your fault. He's just very sensitive. He wasn't expecting you to kiss him."

"He told you. God. Bet you think I'm a right slapper. I don't always kiss boys on a first date." She had tears in her eyes.

"No Anna. I don't think that and neither does Harry. As I said, he really likes you. He has other problems, but I don't think I can talk about those. That's up to Harry."

"Ok. Thanks for telling me Louis. I would still like to see him, if he wants to. I'll take it slow." She smiled, wiping her eyes.

"I'm sure he'd like that." Louis smiled back.

The finished their tea and said goodbye. Louis went back home.

*****

"She still likes me?" Harry asked. 

Louis smiled. "Yes love. She still likes you. She would like to go out again. She won't do anything you don't want to."

"But ..does she think I'm a freak?" He worried. His frown prominent on his face.

"Harry, stop worrying. She likes you, you like her. I think you'll be good together. She's nice and friendly, and pretty."

Harry smiled and nodded.

"Thank you Louis." He hugged his big brother, wanting to show him how much he means to him for helping.

"No worries. Now... let's go get lunch. Let's go out to eat. Where do you fancy?"

Harry thought for a moment. He doesn't go to the usual fast food places very often, trying to eat healthily, but today he fancies it.

"Umm... McDonald's?" He suggested.

"Sounds good to me."

Louis drove into town and parked near the shopping centre. It was a busy day, lots of people rushing here and there.

They entered McDonald's, again it was busy, and placed their order on one of the machines, rather than queueing up.

Louis paid and they found a table.

There were lots of younger people there, out of college for their lunch break. They were quite noisy. 

Their food arrived and they started to eat.

Louis had a big Mac, fries and a chocolate milkshake, Harry had spicy chicken nuggets, fries and a hot chocolate.

"Enjoying that Harry?" Louis laughed, seeing Harry's chin covered in the spicy sauce that came with his nuggets.

"Yeah, it's nice. Thanks for bringing me here." He smiled, getting a napkin to wipe his chin.

There was a big group of teenagers sat behind Harry, and Louis could sense he was feeling a bit uneasy.

"Come sit next to me Harry!" Louis said, noting Harry's scared expression.

Harry got up quickly and sat next to his brother, sitting closely.

"You ok love?" Louis asked as he rubbed his back.

"Y-yeah." He said quietly, but Louis could feel how tense he was.

"FUCK OFF YOU DICKHEAD! YOU TOUCH MY GIRLFRIEND AGAIN AND I'LL KILL YOU!" one of the teens suddenly shouted. 

Harry grabbed Louis arm.

"WELL... I'M OBVIOUSLY BETTER AT FUCKING HER THAN YOU ARE!" another replied.

Louis gasped at the language and started packing up their food, wanting to leave, or at least find another table.

"YEAH...YOU FUCK! I'M GONNA KILL YOU!" 

Shit! Louis thought, he could see Harry panicking now, he was shaking so much.

"Get up Harry we're going!" He said, lifting Harry up with one hand, picking up their food with the other. Harry grabbed his hot chocolate, and they tried to get past the trouble makers.

A fight was breaking out right in front of them. They tried to get past the brawlers, but all hell was breaking loose.

Harry was shoved into a wall, his drink spilling over him. He cried out. The drink soaked through his t shirt onto his skin.

Louis grabbed him and barged through the yobs. Harry was screaming from being burnt again.

Onlookers looked shocked. Staff tried to break up the fight, while others came to help Harry and Louis.

They took them to the staff room.

Harry took his shirt off, not really wanting to, as he was shy but he needed it off so he can get cold on him.

Louis was given a cold cloth and placed it on Harry, who screamed.

Harry was on the verge of a panic attack, so a staff member got one of their paper bags and Harry breathed into it.

Louis called Lucy quickly and told her what happened. She was on her way.

Harry calmed down after a while, but was still in pain. A trip to A&E might be needed, as his skin was blistering, just to be on the safe side.

Lucy arrived and was shown into the room. 

"Oh god Harry, my baby, are you ok?" She said as she sat next to him, as he started crying again.

"I'm so very sorry about what happened." The manager said as he walked in, with a policeman.

"It's not your fault. Those yobs were just out to cause trouble." Louis said.

"The ones who were fighting have been arrested. Do you want to press charges?" The policeman asked.

Harry shook his head. "No. No p-point. I'm ok." He sobbed.

"Are you sure Harry?"

He nodded and put his head on Lucy's shoulder.

"Can we g-go now." He cried.

"Yes love. Just gonna have a quick trip to hospital, get that looked at. Ok!" 

They went in Lucy's car. Leaving Louis' behind to pick up later.

Harry was seen within two hours and sent home, with some cream and painkillers, which he wasn't happy about.

"I'm sorry Harry. It's my fault you got hurt. We should've stayed home." Louis said sadly as he laid on Harry's bed, Harry about to fall asleep, it had been a long day.

"Not your fault. Just bad luck. It follows me around. Told you I'm cursed." Were his last words before sleep took him.

Louis cried, and hugged his brother until he too feel asleep.

*****

Saturday came round again. Harry was nervous about being at work. He hadn't seen Anna since he freaked out, but had spoken to her on the phone.

At noon, she walked in. Her long blonde hair up in a cute ponytail.

She walked up to Harry and took his hand. "Can I talk to you quickly?" She asked. Harry nodded, and they went to the staff room.

Harry sat down. "I know we've spoken on the phone, but I just wanted to say to you, that I'm sorry that I kissed you. Well... I'm not sorry cos I really like you and I wanted to, but sorry I forced myself on you. God I'm rabbiting on..." 

Before she could say anything else, Harry stood up and placed his lips on hers. This is what they both wanted.

Harry had a lot of time to think things through. He liked Anna so much, and knew she liked him, so why not give it a go? A relationship would be good for him, right?

They broke the kiss and both smiled.

"Wow!" Harry said.

"Yeah. Wow! Wasn't expecting that. You ok about this?" She asked, her cheeks rosy.

"As sure as anything. Can I...can I take you out tonight?" He asked shyly.

Anna's smile got bigger. "I'd love that. Where do you want to go?"

"Sounds cheesy, but how about the cinema?"

Anna nodded, and kissed his cheek. "Sounds perfect. Thanks Harry. Now...we better get to work before Nick or Olly come looking for us."

Harry nodded and left the room, leaving Anna to get her apron on.

*****

At 6pm, the shop was closed, cleaned and locked up.

Anna offered Harry a lift home, and he accepted.

"Thank you. I'll see you at 7.30 then?" Harry asked, making sure of the time.

"Can't wait. See you soon." Anna replied, leaving Harry outside his house.

*****

"Looking smart Harry." Louis said, watching Harry getting ready for his date.

Harry blushed. "Th-thanks Lou." He replied, doing his shirt buttons up. 

"Let me do your hair." Louis offered, Harry smiled and sat on the bed.

Louis styled Harry's hair, giving a quick head massage to calm his obvious nerves.

"There...very handsome." Louis grinned. 

Harry blushed. 

"Thanks for h-helping Lou." He said, giving his brother a hug. Louis could feel his shaking.

"Deep breaths love. Try not to worry. But if you need me, just call. I'm sure you'll be fine though." Louis reassured him.

*****

Louis drove Harry into town to the cinema.

"Have a nice time. I'll be asking questions about the film later, so pay attention." Louis joked.

Harry looked at him, shocked. "Huh?"

Louis shoved his arm. "I'm kidding, Harry!" He laughed. "Go see your date. Let me know when you want picking up."

Harry smiled, nervously, and left the car, waving Louis off.

Harry waited outside the cinema, and five minutes later, Anna walked around the corner.

"Hi Harry." She placed a kiss on his cheek. "Sorry if I'm late, couldn't get a parking space."

Harry smiled. "It's ok. I was early." He looked at Anna. Her hair was down, in curls, she had more make up on than she usually wears. She had a beautiful pastel pink flowery dress on with pink high heels. Harry thought she looked amazing. The most beautiful girl in the world. He felt his heart flutter.

"Let's go in, or we'll miss the start." She said, taking Harry's hand in hers, walking into the cinema.

They decided to watch 'my sister's keeper.' 

They settled in their seats, deciding not to sit in the back row.

"Popcorn?" Anna asked putting the tub they bought in between them. 

Harry nodded and took a small handful.

The lights went down and the ads played.

"God, don't you just hate ads?" Anna said, as the third one came on. Harry nodded, but had no clue, as he'd never been to the cinema before.

The film eventually started and they couple sat back.

By the time it was halfway through, Anna had he arms wrapped around Harry's, cuddled up. He liked the feeling of her being close. 

He wasn't feeling entirely comfortable, the dark room and the volume of the film were worrying him a bit.

By the end of the film, they were both crying. It was such a sad story. Anna handed Harry a tissue, he accepted and wiped his eyes.

"That was so sad." Anna said as they stood up to leave.

"I'm sorry I cried. Couldn't help it." Harry said quietly.

"It's fine Harry. I'd be more shocked if you didn't." She smiled at him, holding his hand again.

Harry relaxed a bit. He was worried that she'd think he was a wimp for crying at a film. 

Once outside the building, Harry took a deep breath. He was glad to get some fresh air, after being cooped up for two hours.

Harry walked Anna to her car. They stopped by the driver's side.

"Thank you for tonight Harry. I had a lovely time." She said, looking into his forest green eyes.

"Th-Thank you for letting me t-take you. It was n-nice." He stuttered.

She took his hand. "Don't be nervous. I really did have a nice night. Can we do something next week!" 

Harry smiled. "Yes. Yes please, I... I'd like that!" 

"Great. Well I better go. Would you like a lift?"

Harry was going to get a lift from Louis, but as she was offering, he accepted.

The ride was short and soon enough, Harry was outside his house.

Anna turned off the engine and looked at Harry.

"Thanks again. See you Saturday." She smiled. Harry's heart skipped a beat.

He leant across and kissed her, gently. He was definitely falling for this blonde haired, blue eyed girl.

"I'll text you." He said, as he went to open his door.

She started the engine and drove off.

Harry walked to the front door of his house and rang the doorbell.

The door opened, Louis answered it and looked shocked to see his brother.

"Harry? How did you get here? Is everything ok?" 

Harry walked in and closed the door.

"Everything is perfect, amazing, wonderful Louis!" He giggled.

Louis was thinking that maybe Harry had been drinking, or worse.

"I'm fine Lou. We had a great night. The movie was good, but very sad. I cried, but she didn't think I was a wimp. We kissed. She drove me home. She wants to go out next week. She's amazing Lou!" Harry rambled.

Louis smiled, and sighed. He'd been worried all evening. He pulled Harry into a big hug.

"I'm so happy for you love. That's great." 

"Thank Lou. I'm gonna ask her to be my girlfriend. Do you think she'll say yes?"

"She'd be mad not to Harry." 

*****

Harry had been happier lately. He was more confident, and talkative. He really came out of his shell since being with Anna.

They'd officially been boyfriend and girlfriend for a month now, and the family are so grateful to her for the change in Harry.

Of course, he still has his bad days, and is still on his medication.

Gemma had also been around lots again. Her and Anna had become good friends too.

Harry had even decided to give his relationship with his Mum another go.

*****

"So glad you made it Anne. How have you been?" Lucy asked as Harry's Mum sat at the dining table.

"Oh I've been good thanks. The job is going well, and....I met a man!" She replied, smiling.

Harry, who was sat across from her, looked surprised.

"His name is John. I work with him. He's such a lovely man. He has a lovely house just out of town. He wants us to move in." She beamed.

"That's great, Anne. So pleased for you." Lucy said.

"He has no children, but has really taken a shine to Gemma, hasn't he love?" She asked her daughter.

Gemma smiled. "Yeah he's nice."

Lucy and Liam served dinner and they sat eating and making small talk.

"So Harry. I hear you have a girlfriend?" Anne asked.

Harry took a sip of his juice, and looked at his Mum. "Y-Yes. She's called Anna." He replied simply.

"Ooh nearly the same name as me. I'd love to meet her sometime." Harry put on a fake smile and carried on eating. He really was trying to like his Mum.

The dinner was over and everyone sat in the living room.

Harry and Gemma were sat next to each other.

"Now that would make a lovely photo. Do you mind?" Anne asked getting her phone out of her bag.

They smiled as she took a photo. Lucy took one too.

"My babies." Anne said, wiping a tear away.

"Oh Mum, don't cry please." Gemma said, getting up from the sofa and sitting next to Anne, hugging her.

Harry bit his nails as Anne cried. He felt bad for his Mum being upset, but wasn't sure what he should do.

"I'm sorry I'm such a bad Mum. I don't deserve you two in my life." She sobbed.

Liam asked the other boys to go to their rooms, which they did quickly.

Liam then took Lucy to the kitchen to give them some privacy.

"You're not a bad Mum! You've had such a bad life. It wasn't your fault that Dad was such a...such a..." 

"Bastard!" Harry finished Gemma's sentence. "Don't look at me like that Gemma! He was a bastard! He deserves to rot in hell!"

"I'm so sorry Harry. I should've stopped what he did to you. He was so strong though. He did such bad things to you...and me! He locked me away from you. I would give anything to start over again. I wish I had the strength to stand up to him. I missed out on both of you growing up and I'll regret that forever. I love you both so much." She cried again.

Harry stood up and walked over to his Mum and Sister. He squeezed in-between them and they fell into a sobbing hug.

All three of them were crying. All you could hear were sobs. Liam and Lucy could hear them from the kitchen. 

"Should we go in?" Liam asked.

"No love. I think they're doing ok. They needed this." She replied.

"I'm sorry." Harry whispered, wiping his wet cheeks. 

Anne lifted her head to look at her son. "Why are you sorry Harry?"

"I shouldn't have blocked you out for so long. I just found it all so difficult. I still don't understand it all. I want to know more, about my childhood, what you know of it. I don't blame you for anything. I want us to be happy." Harry said.

Anne and Gemma smiled.

"I want that too. We need to build bridges. I love you both so very much." Anne said, hugging them both.

Anne and Gemma left a while later. Harry felt like a small weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He still had a bigger weight to go, but they'd get there.

*****

A month later, things were much better for Harry, Anne and Gemma. They'd grown a lot closer now. Anne wanted Harry to move in with them, but Harry wasn't ready for that. Plus the fact that Anne's relationship with John had got serious. He'd asked her to move in with him, which she was considering.

"I'm not sure about John." Gemma told Harry on the phone one night.

"What do you mean?" Harry replied, a bad feeling in his stomach.

"He seems possessive. I heard them arguing the other night too. Well...it was him shouting, I didn't hear her say much. I'm worried Harry. What should I do?" 

Harry could sense the distress in her voice.

"I...I don't know Gem. Can't you talk to her?"

"I'll try. She seems really sad lately. If he's making her sad, I don't want her with him. She doesn't need more sadness."

"No, she doesn't. Can you let me know what she says?" 

"Sure. I'll call you tomorrow."

"But Gemma. I love you." 

"Love you too."

*****

The next day, Harry got another call from Gemma.

"Gem...did you talk to Mum?"

"Yes. She said everything is ok. It was just a silly argument over something silly. Harry... I'm scared. I saw bruises on her arms. I think he's beating her." She started crying.

Harry felt useless as he wasn't with his Mum and Sister.

"But you don't know for definite. Maybe she walked into something. I always do that!" Harry said, in hope.

"Harry...you can't help it...you have a condition. I don't think she's clumsy. I think it's him. What do I do?"

"God...shall I speak to Liam? He might know what's best." 

"Yes please Harry. I don't want history repeating itself."

"Try not to worry. I'll talk to him when he's home from work."

They said their goodbyes, and Harry sat and waited for Liam to come home.

*****

"I don't know what to suggest Harry. The bruises could be from anything, and everyone argues, even me and Lucy." Liam said. 

Harry was worried.

"But Gem said it sounded really bad, all one sided. I'm worried about her, Dad." Harry replied, picking at his fingers.

"I don't know if there's anything we can do love." Harry frowned.

Harry glanced out of the living room window.

"Dad... there's a police car outside." He said, a sudden panic sweeping through his veins.

Liam opened the door.

Gemma was walking towards the house with two police officers, one of them had her arm around Gemma, who was crying.

Harry's heart sank. He knew it was something really bad. He knew it was his Mum.

He sank to the floor.

*****

Gemma had been to work. She finished at 5 and took the bus home. Her car was in for a service, so she had to use public transport, which she hated, as it took longer to get home.

At 6 o'clock she entered the house she shared with Anne and Anne's friend.

Anne normally came to meet her with a hug and a cup of tea, but today she didn't.

The house was eerily quiet. No radio playing in the kitchen, or TV in the living room. Just silence.

Gemma was worried. Anne hadn't said she wouldn't be home. So Gemma went to look for her.

"Mum? Mum? I'm home. Where are you?" She went from room to room, but didn't find her.

She went upstairs. That's when she heard whimpers. 

It was coming from her Mum's bedroom.

Gemma's heart was pounding in her chest, as she ran into the room.

What she saw would stay with her for the rest of her life.....

***** 

Liam picked Harry up, he had passed out. He quickly placed him on the sofa, then went back to the front door.

"Gemma? What's happened?" Liam said as he let them in. 

Gemma was sobbing so much, she fell into Liam's arms, shaking.

"Mr Payne. Can you sit down please?" The policewoman asked.

Liam's face paled. He knew this was bad.

He took Gemma to sit next to him and Harry.

"I'm sorry to tell you, Anne Styles has died. She was murdered. The house is now a crime scene. We think we know who did it and we're going to get him." She spoke softly.

Liam gasped, and pulled a now hysterical Gemma closer.

"Oh my god Gemma. I'm so sorry." He whispered, rubbing her back.

"Of course, we'll keep you informed. Can Gemma stay with you, she can't go back to the house."

"Of course. As long as she wants to." He replied.

The officers left, after telling them about liaison officers coming soon.

When Harry regained consciousness and saw Liam consoling Gemma, he broke down.

"Oh Harry!" Gemma cried, as she came over to hug him. "Mum's gone!" 

Harry screamed, and gripped onto Gemma's arm, he cried his heart out. He'd only just started to build a relationship with his Mum, and now she was gone.

*****

"Mum!" Gemma cried out, rushing to Anne's side.

She was laying in a pool of blood on the bedroom floor.

Gemma felt sick. She grabbed her phone, rang 999 and put it on loud speaker.

"Police! Ambulance! My Mum's been stabbed." She yelled down the phone.

She was given instructions on how to try to stop the flow.

She could hardly focus, her eyes soaked with tears, her heart pounding, she felt sick and dizzy, but she had to try to concentrate. Her Mum was slowly fading away...

"Gem..." Anne whispered. "I love you." 

"I love you too. Please don't leave us!" She cried.

"I'm sorry...I could've been better to you both." 

"Mum, shh please try not to talk, save your strength please Mum!"

"Tell Harry...I L-Love h-him t-too." 

"You can tell him yourself. You can see him tomorrow. Please Mum!"

"L-Love Y-You..."

"Mum! NO MUM PLEASE DON'T LEAVE US! MUM!" 

*****

Gemma was asleep in her old bedroom. She was exhausted.

Harry sat on the sofa, cuddled up to Liam. He hadn't said anything for the last hour.

Liam had called Lucy, telling her what had happened. She had gone to see a friend miles away, and decided to travel back straight away. She picked the boys up from college on her way home. 

Louis had just got home.

"Dad... what's wrong?" He asked, seeing them cuddled up on the sofa, with Harry looking terrible.

Liam went to get up, but Harry grabbed him tightly, not wanting him to go.

Louis was worried.

"Lou... it's Anne... she's dead." He whispered. He felt Harry's body tense at the words, as more tears started pouring down his pale cheeks.

"Oh my god, no! Oh Harry I'm so sorry." He sat next to his brother, and hugged him. 

Harry let go of Liam and wrapped himself around Louis.

His heart was completely shattered.

The rest of the family came home, all giving Harry their apologies and hugs. 

Liam and Lucy sat at the dining table.

"What happened Li?" Lucy asked, her hands shaking. She had just started to really like Anne.

"All I know is...she was stabbed." He whispered. "They think it was John. He's disappeared. They're hunting for him. A liaison officer is coming soon. The kids are distraught."

"I can't believe this has happened. What more can they go through?" Lucy dabbed her eyes with a tissue.

They're in for a tough time.

They're all going to need to be strong.

*****

Three weeks had passed since Anne died.

Harry had fallen into a deep depression. He cut himself off from the family. He wouldn't eat much, never spoke, and spent all his time in his bedroom.

Nick was very understanding, letting Harry have as much time off of work as he needed.

Anna tried to speak to him, but he just couldn't. She said she was there when he needed her.

"Harry? You will go to the funeral tomorrow won't you?" Liam asked, sitting on Louis' bed.

Harry didn't answer, but Liam heard him cry, sniffing.

He stood up and walked to his bed and sat down. "I know it's difficult. I know you're hurting. But...you need to say goodbye love." He rubbed Harry's back, he flinched.

"Harry. We're worried about you. We want to help. Please, don't shut us out." Liam couldn't stop his own tears falling.

Harry turned over, he looked awful. 

Black rings were under his eyes, he was pale, lips cracked, hair greasy and knotted. His face was sunken in. 

Liam sobbed at the sight, as Harry sat up and hugged him.

*****

The day of the funeral had arrived. 

Harry had finally let his family in. He spent hours last night with Gemma. They didn't speak much, just hugged and cried. They needed each other more than ever now.

Harry was sat in-between Louis and Gemma, the rest of the family on the same pew. 

There wasn't many other people there, a couple of Anne's work colleagues, and the friend she lived with.

The coffin sat on the stand in front of them.

Harry couldn't take his eyes off of it.

The service began.

Harry tried to concentrate on what was being said. His mind was full of bad thoughts though.

He was crying, he didn't even realise. His body was so tense, it would make his muscles ache.

"No." He suddenly said. The vicar stopped talking.

"No..no..no..no..no!"

"Harry, calm down love." Louis whispered.

"NO! NO! NO! PLEASE NO!" he sobbed, hysterically.

He jumped up from his seat and ran to the coffin, throwing himself at it.

He tried to open the lid, but it was screwed down.

Liam and Louis tried to pull him away. 

"No! She's not dead. I need her. Please!" He yelled. "Get her out! She can't breathe!"

Gemma sobbed in her seat, as Lucy came to comfort her.

"Harry please. She's gone. Please don't do this." Liam begged.

They managed to pull him away. His fingertips were cut and bleeding.

They sat down, and Harry sobbed into Liam's chest, not hearing anything but the pounding of his heart.

After the service, everyone walked out to the graveyard.

Liam and Louis had to help Harry, he was so weak, he could hardly walk. It was heartbreaking for them to see.

At the graveside, the vicar spoke some more, as Anne's coffin was lowered in.

Harry suddenly lunged forward, trying to jump in, but Liam managed to grab him, before he fell in. He pulled him back as Harry screamed.

"Let me go! I want to be with her!" He fell to his knees, pulling at his hair.

Louis and Liam sat beside him, hugging him, trying desperately to calm him down. 

Nothing was working. 

Harry had completely lost it.

The funeral was over.

The other people there had left, leaving just the Payne's and Gemma.

Harry was still crying. He was in the throws of a full blown breakdown.

Lucy had seen enough and pulled out her phone.

She dialled 999. Harry needed hospital care. They couldn't deal with this on their own.

By the time the ambulance arrived, Harry had passed out, exhausted from his meltdown.

The whole family were in tears.

He was taken to hospital, Liam and Lucy with him. Louis took the boys and Gemma home, to wait for news.

*****

"I'm sorry, but we're going to have to keep him in for a while." The doctor on the psychiatric ward said. "He's a danger to himself and others."

"He wasn't endangering anyone! He's just burried his Mum. He just needs new meds or something!" Lucy cried.

She was kidding herself. She knew Harry needed help and she couldn't give it to him.

"Please, just do what you can. We want him home. But we want him healthy." Liam added.

"We want that too. Try not to worry. You can see him now. He's been sedated, so you might not get any response from him." The doctor said, as he showed them to Harry's room.

Harry was laying in a bed. Clean white sheets covering his frail, tired body.

"Oh god Liam. He looks so small. Did we do something wrong?" Lucy asked.

"No love. Don't blame us. Don't blame him. Blame his father. He did all of this to him. He needs to rot in hell!" 

They sat next to Harry both holding a hand. "we love you Harry. Don't give up please." 

*****

"Lou...will you marry me?" 

Louis smiled. "You know I can't marry you, Harry."

"But...I love you."

"I love you too. But brothers can't get married love." 

Harry sighed. "I feel better when I'm with you though. You make me feel safe. Please."

Louis placed a hand over one of Harry's. "That's good, but we can't. Sorry."

Harry looked sad.

He was sitting in a chair in his hospital room, near the window. There was a nice view of the hospital gardens, a pond in the centre, with ducks waddling around with their ducklings.

It was very calming. Just what Harry needed.

Harry had been in the hospital for a month. His meds have been altered, and seem to be working. He's had therapy and assessments. His mental health has improved, but he still has a long way to go.

"How are you feeling today?" Louis asked.

"Fuzzy. My head is fuzzy."

"Oh...I expect that's your new meds. I wouldn't worry." Louis said, watching a man feeding the ducks.

"Yeah. Where's Mum and Dad?" Harry replied.

"I told you, they're coming after lunch. Did you forget?"

Harry rubbed his temples. "Oh...yeah sorry." He spoke very quietly.

"We're not real brothers though." Harry said, looking in Louis' blue eyes.

Louis was sad that Harry wanted this. Not that marrying him would be bad, they were brothers though. It's the fact that Harry felt safe and happy with his brother, so much that he wanted to spend the rest of their lives together.

"You're getting tired, love. Why don't you take a nap before lunch?"

Harry nodded and walked to his bed, laying down on top of the sheets. He curled into a ball.

"Will you cuddle me?" He asked.

Louis smiled and got on the bed behind him.

"I'll be the big spoon to your little one." Louis whispered as Harry closed his eyes and fell asleep.

*****

Two days later, Harry was finally discharged.

Liam and Louis went to pick him up. 

Back at the house, the family had gathered. There were no welcome home signs or anything like that. 

The door to the house opened and Liam walked in followed by Louis and a nervous Harry.

"Hi love!" Lucy said, going up to Harry hugging and kissing him. She was pleased to have her baby back home at last.

Everyone welcomed Harry home. Both sets of grandparents were there too, to give their love.

"Lou...can you take me to bed please?" Harry whispered, he was cuddled up next to his brother, enjoying the warmth from his body.

"Tired love? Course. Come on. I'm taking Harry to bed, he's tired." Louis said.

Harry said goodnight to everyone and they walked up to their room.

Louis had pushed their beds together earlier in the day. Harry wanted to be close. Louis didn't mind.

Harry used the bathroom and got into bed. Louis sat beside him.

"You want me to stay?" He asked a very sleepy looking Harry.

He nodded. "Please."

Louis smiled as Harry closed his eyes. 

It didn't take long before Harry was asleep, so Louis got his phone out.

"Hi Anna."

"Louis. Is Harry ok?"

"Well...you know. Just wanted to let you know that he's home."

"That's great news. I've been so worried. Can you ask him if I can come and visit? I've missed him."

"He's just gone to sleep. I can ask tomorrow?"

"Thanks Louis. I'll wait to hear from him. Goodnight."

"Night Anna."

He hung up the phone and put it on his bedside table. He laid down next to Harry and fell asleep.

*****

"Hey you little shit! Wake up!" 

Oh god please go away. 

"I'm speaking to you. Don't ignore me!" 

He's drunk. He smells nasty. 

"Get up, bastard!" 

He pulls my arm, turning me over to face him.

"Fuck...I hate you so much! You disgust me! Do you know that?"

Leave me alone, please!

"You need punishing!" 

What for? I haven't done anything!

He's leaning over me, I'm shaking, I'm sweating. Please don't hurt me Daddy!

He kneels down in front of me and starts taking my clothes off. I try to hold them in place. I don't want him to see my body.

I'm covered in big nasty different coloured bruises. He did that! My Daddy! The one who is supposed to look after me!

I'm crying again. I always cry.

He rips my t shirt off of me. 

I'm screaming, trying to kick him away.

He slapped my face. It stings. I scream more.

"Shut up you fucking wimp!"

He throws me backwards,my head smacks the wall. I feel dizzy. Sick.

He pulls my pants down.

I'm naked.

I'm going to die.

He starts touching me.

He pulls his pants down.

It touches me. It's hard.

I scream again. He slaps me.

He's holding me down.

I can't breathe.

I want to die.

I pass out.

*****

Harry wakes up screaming. Covered in sweat.

Louis wakes immediately and holds him tight.

"It's ok Harry. I'm here. You're ok. You're safe. Shh."

Harry gasps for breath. He's mortified when he looks down and sees his boxers are wet and sticky.

"NO!" He sobs. "Fuck no!"

He jumps out of the bed, running to the bathroom.

Louis follows him.

"Harry... what's wrong?" He says, then spots the problem.

"Shit Harry. Louis says as he walks towards him.

"No. Please don't. I'm disgusting." He sinks to the floor, crying.

"No Harry. You're not. You can't help what happened. Don't be upset or anything. Let me help you?" He walks again.

Harry let's him pick him up and sit him on the edge of the bath.

"You want to take a shower?"

Harry nods. His face is bright red. He's never been so embarrassed.

"Hey... don't be embarrassed. It happens to all of us."

"NOT WHEN YOU'VE JUST HAD A NIGHTMARE ABOUT YOUR DAD SEXUALLY ABUSING YOU!!" Harry screamed.

"Fuck!" Louis said, pacing the room. "Sorry."

There was a knock at the door. It was Liam.

"Everything alright in there boys?" He asked quietly.

Harry looked at Louis begging him not to say anything.

"Yeah we're ok. Just going back to bed." Louis replied. 

Liam left and Louis turned the shower on.

"Get in. Wash yourself. Then we'll talk. You want me to stay here?" 

Harry nodded. He got in the shower, and pulled the curtain.

He stayed under the water for a long time. He scrubbed his body red raw, crying the whole time. 

Louis opened the curtain and switched the shower off.

He handed Harry a towel and he wrapped it around his lower half.

He dried himself and put on clean boxers and a t shirt.

They went back to bed and turned the light off.

"We'll talk in the morning ok?" Louis said.

Harry was grateful. He was exhausted and humiliated.

He just hoped that when he closed his eyes again, he wouldn't relive more of his awful past.

*****

Harry woke up, with the realisation of what happened a few hours ago.

He leapt out of bed and ran to the bathroom, just making it to the toilet, before he threw up.

Louis had woken up by Harry's sudden movement, and followed him to the bathroom.

He crouched down behind him and rubbed his back as he threw up again.

"Don't touch m-me... I'm d-disgusting!" Harry groaned as his stomach lurched again.

"No you're not Harry. Please don't say that!" 

Harry sobbed as he flushed the toilet. He put the lid down and rested his head on it.

"Harry. You can't help what your body does when you're asleep. I know you feel bad about it, but please try not to." Louis said as Harry turned around and put his head on Louis' lap.

"I... I've never done that before." Harry whispered, his face blushed.

"It happens love. I've done it loads. It's natural."

"Aren't you....ashamed?"

"Ashamed? Harry it's nothing to be ashamed of. Everyone masturbates. I mean...I don't know if you actually touched yourself last night, but the result was the same."

Harry looked mortified.

"I've... I've never done that!" He looked down at the floor, embarrassed to admit that.

"Really?"

"No. Does that mean I'm... I'm not normal?" 

"No! Course not! Some people don't want to, or like to."

Harry was silent. Thinking. 

"Let's go get dressed eh?" Louis asked.

Harry nodded and stood up.

"I'm sorry." He said as they walked back to the bedroom.

"You ok now? You're not ill are you?" Louis asked as he got dressed.

"No...was just...you know...?" 

"Ok love. Do you want me to talk to Mum and Dad about this?"

Harry shook his head. "No please don't it's too embarrassing." 

"Ok. I promise. You can always come to me and tell me anything that worries you. Ok?"

"Thanks Lou." Harry replied giving his brother a quick hug.

*****

Anna came to visit that afternoon, after Harry told her he'd like to see her.

They sat on Harry's bed, alone. The rest of the family were out.

"I'm glad you wanted to see me. I've been so worried about you." Anna said as she gave Harry a hug.

"I'm sorry. I wanted to feel better before I saw you. I didn't want you to see me the way I was. It wasn't good."

Anna held his hand. "But you're feeling better now?" 

Harry nodded and smiled at her. "Yes. Good days and bad, you know? But on the whole I feel better. I missed you!" 

"I missed you too Harry." She smiled back.

"Would you...would you want to be my girlfriend?" He asked, looking straight into her beautiful blue eyes.

Anna grinned. "Are you kidding? There's nothing I want more than that."

"Can I kiss you?" Harry asked shyly, blushing.

"I wish you would." Anna said turning slightly towards him.

Their faces moved closer together, and their lips touched.

The kiss was gentle and slow. Wanting to taste every part. Anna licked along Harry's bottom lip, and he instinctively opened his mouth. Her tongue entered his mouth and found Harry's.

The kiss lasted a couple of minutes before Harry broke it.

"Thank you Anna." He said quietly, smiling.

"For what?"

"For being here. For being my girlfriend." 

Anna threw her arms around him, not wanting to let go.

"I'll always be here for you Harry!"

Her hand moved lower, down to Harry sweatpants.

Harry gasped as she touched him.

"Can I?" She asked.

Harry wasn't entirely sure what she was asking for but he nodded, his heart beating faster in anticipation.

Their lips found each other again, as Anna's hand started rubbing Harry's cock through the fabric, making him groan.

"Oh yes!" She said with a smirk.

Her hand found it's way past the sweatpants and into his boxers.

He was already hard. He groaned again as Anna wrapped her hand around his erection.

She moved her hand up and down, slowly, eyes open, watching Harry's reaction.

"Fuck!" Harry moaned as she picked up speed. He was oozing pre-cum. 

"You don't know what you do to me! Oh Anna!" He yelled. 

He didn't blast long, as he orgasmed, shooting cum onto his heaving stomach.

"Of fuck!" He panted, coming down from his high.

Anna grinned as she leant down and licked Harry's stomach clean.

Harry couldn't believe what just happened and what Anna was doing right now.

He thinks he must be hallucinating. He punched his arm to check if he is awake. It hurts.

Anna looked up at Harry's shocked face and giggled.

"Did you enjoy that?" 

"God...yes!" He replied. His heart had only just gone back to it's normal rate, his cheeks were still flushed.

"I need to go now." Anna said, getting up off the bed.

"Oh... don't you want me to...."

"Oh no Harry" she laughed. "I'm not worried about that right now. Another time. I just wanted to make you happy."

Harry was amazed.

"Oh ok." He got up and cleaned the rest of the mess up, and walked downstairs with Anna.

"See you soon, boyfriend!" She said as she kissed him once more. Bye!" 

"Bye!" 

Harry closed the door and leant against it.

Did that actually happen?

Harry was very very happy indeed! 

*****

"What are you looking so happy about?" Louis asked a grinning Harry.

He was laying on his bed, stating at the ceiling. 

Anna had left a couple of hours ago, leaving Harry in a very good mood.

"Nothing." He smiled.

"Harry?" Louis sat on his bed.

"What?"

"Something happened. Come on spill the beans!"

"Umm...nothing." he blushed and turned on his side.

"Don't believe you. Anna came round, right?"

Harry smiled. "Yes."

"Knew it. So did you two make up?"

"Yep. She's my girlfriend!" Harry said proudly.

"Fantastic. So....did you kiss her?"

"Louis!" Harry whined. "Don't embarrass me!" 

"Aw go on tell me. What was it like?" 

"It was really really nice."

"I told you kissing was nice didn't I?" Louis grinned. "Anything else happen?"

Harry turned onto his stomach and put his face in his pillow.

"You didn't....have sex?" He whispered.

Harry flinched at the words, but shook his head.

"What then? Did you touch her?"

Harry sighed and turned back over. "No...she...she..."

"Oh..." Louis realised what he was trying to say. "And...?"

"I... I liked it...a lot. Oh my god, why am I telling you this?"

"Cos that's what boys do." Louis laughed. "You were ok with it though?"

"Yes. She made me happy. I don't know if I want to go further yet though. But it was nice. I really like her."

Louis smiled. "I'm so happy for you. She is a lovely girl. You make a lovely couple."

Harry blushed again.

*****

Things were going well for Harry.

He was still seeing a psychiatrist, taking his meds and seeing Anna.

His mental health was improving.

In time, he went back to work at the bakery. He'd missed working, and his workmates. The customers had missed him too.

"So glad you're back Harry." Olly said. "Anna's been a right moody cow without you." He grinned. Anna slapped him.

"Shut up Olly. Can't help it if I missed my boyfriend!" 

"Boyfriend? Oh wow! That's brilliant! So happy for you both. So am I invited to the wedding?" He grinned.

"Olly...shut up!" Anna and Harry said together.

"Seriously guys...I really am happy for you. You make a cute couple." Olly said, hugging them both.

Harry knew he was a very lucky young man.

Although they'd only been together a short while, he wanted to be with her forever.

She made him happy. She was pretty and kind. Everyone loved her. She was there for him. 

He was falling head over heels in love for this girl.

Yes, he was only fifteen years old and she was eighteen, but age is just a number, right?

She was older, so she had more experience in everything. She could teach him things he doesn't know. 

He wants to have a home with her. Marry her. Have kids with her. Die with her.

He was thinking too much. 

Planning way too far ahead.

But that's what love, and medication does to you.

*****

There is a sequel...Shattered.


End file.
